Important If True

We're going on a trip through the world's most bizarre mysteries, unanswerable conundrums, and dumb news, and it's going to take a while, so pack something healthy. No, we said healthy. Okay, fine if that's what you want. This week: If you have to babysit a ten year old version of yourself for the weekend, do you both get paid? What do ants see in you anyway? And, when you push a button that you know does nothing, has the satisfaction you felt when pushing it given that button a purpose? We can't stop pushing Nick's buttons about the alleged nutrition of PB&J sandwiches, so it must be true. Discussed: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, weird jams, haunted sandwich, The NBA's Secret Addiction, Playmobil Traffic Cone Lung, How a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich is Like a Playmobile Traffic Cone and the National Basketball Association is Like a Human Lung, feeding Snickers to ants, Snickers-based ant rituals, the relative impulse for self-care in ants versus octopuses, bothering an ant researcher, generic-bran