Craic On

In a late night dash for home, it occurred to me that there was no milk in the fridge and so a short detour was called for. A pint of milk for the necessity of morning tea would surely be possible, and it was. At the till, while I waited for someone to take my money, I thought I’d use the time productively and started fumbling in my bag for the trusty monocular. I was just putting it round my neck when the cashier pitched up. “Are you going bird watching?” he asked, pointing at the monocular. “Oh, no, buses,” I mumbled. “Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it’s dark outside. You wont’ see any birds at this time of night.” “I’m not a twitcher.” I thought that would knock this conversation on the head. “A bird watcher then. There are no birds now. It’s dark outside. That’s what I’m saying.” “No. I’m definitely not a bird watcher. If I was looking for birds I’d probably have binoculars. That’s like this only two stuck together, one for each eye. This is what I use to see if there is a