Animated Opinions

We watched TWO movies this week. For YOU. BE GRATEFUL. The Nut Job and the Nut Job 2 provoke some level of dread within both of us as we wonder how our lives have changed in the last 20 episodes of this podcast.  We'll also talk about Strange Magic again, just because we can. Both of these movies are available to stream on Amazon Prime, if you'd dare to do the most mediocre double feature known to man. Want more hijinks, squirrels, or just nuts? Head over to our parent site: ToplessRobot.com Please support your local podcasters by telling us if you want merch, BTW. I'm trying to convince Emily that more than one of you wants a T-shirt. I won't price them at a profit, because I do it for the love of the sport.  

A Finnish metal band, Nightwish, has a concept album that somehow manages to score enough funding to become a feature length film. It makes about as much sense as that last sentence did, but we watched it anyway! You can watch this movie on ???????? or you can listen to us try to piece together what we watched.  Want more Finnish deathmetal, or just pop culture in general? Head to our parent site: ToplessRobot.com

This week, we watched Everyone's Hero. Somehow, this movie about a talking baseball is so dreadfully boring that it made watching baseball seem like a better entertainment option. We discuss how both of us flew cross country instead of recording this episode, who even likes baseball, and maybe the plot of the movie! Everyone's Hero is available on most streaming storefronts, if you're into that sort of thing.  Want to hear more non-sports people like yourself? Check out our parent site ToplessRobot.com! Follow us on twitter for exactly 0 sports jokes: @animatedopinio2

This week, we watched a film that definitely ISN'T Toy Story: Toys in the Attic. A stop motion film that can just barely hold itself together, Toys in the Attic has charm, evil heads, and a plot that will only make you say "what?" three to four separate times. Toys in the Attic is available to stream right now on Amazon Prime!  If you liked our misguided ramblings, you'll love ToplessRobot.com If you like us as people, tell us by following our twitter: @animatedopino2

This week, we watched Chappie, a movie that's ostensibly about Die Antwoord doing gangster shit, but is really trying to ask you a question about the value of life and robots I guess? Chappie goes off the rails and into some weird territory, but it does feature a cute as hell robot that is actually made of GOOD VFX MAGIC so you know, enjoy that. Chappie is available on Netflix! If you haven't seen it, just fucking watch it, if you have the time to listen to this podcast that only three people work on you have the time to watch an actual movie. Did you read all of this? Are you still here? Go to ToplessRobot.com instead to read something coherent! You're STILL here? Follow us on twitter at @animatedopinio2

This week, we watched a bonafide failure that Avatar definitely ripped off: Delgo. We dig into the obvious mysteries, including their lack of noses, what kind of magic makes their stones move, and if racism was solved by a 2009 animated film. Delgo is available for rental or purchase on most digital storefronts. If you'd like to find the source of our stone magic, check our our parent site: www.toplessrobot.com If you want to know how we stay sane while watching these terrible movies, follow us on twitter @animatedopinio2

This week we watched what somehow isn't Harvey Weinstein's greatest crime OR Butch Hartman's biggest mistake: Doogal. Find out why redubbing a perfectly serviceable English children's film with pop culture references and fart jokes means it won't hold up even ten minutes after release. You can rent Doogal from the majority of digital storefronts, if you're really looking to pretend you're an ugly american. Eh, looking for a spot of tea and some crumpets? Go to our parent website, ToplessRobot.com! Looking for two birds who know how to wizzwazzz a bozz and zigahzigah-ha? Follow us on twitter @animatedopinio2

This week, we watch the shockingly good Monster House. Seriously, you should watch this one, but maybe save it for Halloween? We talk about houses that are people, houses that look like people, and how much cold medicine could conceivably kill a child. Monster House is available on Netflix, so watch it only after you listen to this podcast. For more haunted houses and other kinds of hauntings, go to ToplessRobot.com For more of us, follow us on Twitter: @animatedopino2

This week, we watched Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, a movie that somehow doesn't have a video game tied to it despite being a part of a prolific video game series. Aliens, impregnation, and Steve Buscemi are all on the menu this episode. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within is available to stream on Amazon Prime, hooray! If you wanted all of the characters on screen to ask "where's Cloud," be sure to check out our parent site ToplessRobot.com! If you want more of us, check out our twitter @animatedopinio2.

This week, Emily forces us to watch an awful movie from the Asylum Films that DEFINITELY isn't Finding Dory... Izzie's Way Home. We laugh, we cry, we skater matt through what is 90 minutes of actual torment. If you HAVE to watch this (please don't) it's on YouTube. Don't pay for this. I'm not even kidding. Go to ToplessRobot.com for more pop culture trash, and follow us on Twitter @animatedopino2 for our trash!

 This week, we discuss a film we dreaded watching more than we dread the inevitable effects of global warming: Norm of the North. A godforsaken Rob Schneider vehicle, there is only a void where any heart and soul should be. It's not good, it's not bad, it's just so painfully empty. If you'd like to stare into the abyss, it is available to rent on most digital storefronts.   We also break down our top movies of this season! Come back in a week for the start of season 2! Follow us on twitter if you must @animatedopinio2

WARNING: This episode has funky audio and funky fresh opinions about the Angry Birds movie and who is drinking piss in it. This week, we discuss Angry Birds with someone who I am still shocked agreed to be on our podcast twice: Josh from the Angry Birds Drink Piss in the Angry Birds Movie Podcast. His charm and grace almost make you forget that this is a film where we watch an extended sequence of birds prancing in a stream, only to then watch a bird pee directly into that shimmering oasis. You currently can't stream Angry Birds due to the impending release of Angry Birds 2, but you CAN rent it from most digital storefronts. Follow us on Twitter or I'll keep talking about pee! @animatedopinio2

This week, we watched a five year old's spec script, which is still more successful than any movie you've ever written, Monster Trucks. We'll talk about the tumultuous development of the film, the failed toy deals, and how terrible we think the VFX is.  Monster Trucks is available to stream on Hulu and rent from most digital storefronts. We're now a part of the Topless Robot podcast network! Please hold your congratulations and instead continue to listen.  Follow us on Twitter! @animatedopino2

This week, we analyze the age old question of which is the superior pet, cats or dogs, in 2001's Cats and Dogs. Spoiler alert: It's the puppets that performed all of the stunts. We also discuss why Jeff Goldblum can save any movie with the shortest of appearances and if our pets could star in a film without ruining it. Cats and Dogs is available to rent on most movie rental platforms. Give us a follow on twitter at @animatedopinio2! 

This week we explore a French rock-opera about a part clock, mostly boy: Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart. A beautiful film with a confounding soundtrack, we argue as to whether or not entirely redubbing it could save it. If you'd like to watch for yourself, it's available on Netflix! As always, follow us on twitter at @animatedopinio2!

This week, we try to figure out how anyone was cast in 2008's Space Chimps, a movie that manages to take 30 minutes of content and stretch it to 90 with no increase in story elements. Space Chimps is available on Amazon Prime, if you're really that curious about what the terrible aliens look like (it's not good.)  Follow us on twitter at @animatedopino2, if you want more of our awful opinions!

This week, we power through what can only be described as the 6th level of Hell, watching both Ratatoing and the Little Panda Fighter from well known knockoff house, Video Brinquedo. We also embark on our quest to find Quantum Quest, a NASA created animated movie that probably doesn't exist any more. If you'd like to watch the films we discussed this week, good news, they're on YouTube, and since they're one step from breaking copyright laws anyway, I won't tell you to go pay for them.  Follow us on twitter at @animatedopinio2, and please petition your local NASA branch to release Quantum Quest.

This week, your lovely and very patient hosts suffered through the 2011 motion capture disaster, Mars Needs Moms. Take pity on us as we speculate about the life of Robert Zemeckis, if Seth Green was paid enough for this, and why the alien's hips are a mile wide. If you have a Starz subscription you can stream the film, but otherwise, you'll have to rent this one. As always, you can find us on twitter at our not great handle: @animatedopinio2 There's two of us, so I guess it makes sense?

In this episode of Animated Opinions, we watch a George Lucas film where the female characters actually have agency! In Strange Magic, we talk about music licensing, terrible textures, and why even a disgusting hole filled bug can be kind of hot. Strange Magic is available to rent on all standard sites, but isn't streaming at the moment. Support your local podcasters! Follow us on twitter @animatedopinio2

In our introductory episode, we punish ourselves by watching 2006's hit Kevin James film about male cows with udders, Barnyard. We don't know why we did this either. Follow us on twitter? @animatedopinio2