Paws Rewind

What's going on with our loose bladders and sagging skin? We love our bodies, but sometimes certain parts and functions have a mind of their own as we age. We gripe and also praise our middle-aged bodies and all they do (or don't do). Also featured in this episode: Susie can't seem to dodge strange side effects, and Angie's lost 45 minutes of her life watching a clunky British reality show.

Angie turns 50, and has a very important question about Jell-O shots. We learn about throwing garbage at 30-year-old single men, and other bizarre birthday traditions from around the world. Also featured in this episode: Susie confirms that 40 degrees IS the perfect coffee-on-the-porch weather, and Angie wonders if she should give in to the AARP "propaganda."

Gen X kids grew up with fears of nuclear war and having their face on the side of a milk carton. This week, Angie and Susie recall those, as well as weird-ass fears of shoes, whales, and accidentally opening portals to hell. Also featured on this episode: Susie wonders why technology has to have so many remotes and inputs, and Angie can't decide if loud farts are worse than the silent-but-deadly ones.

There's no shortage of middle-aged people out there kicking ass, and they inspire us! Seriously, Helen Mirren's a total fox with a heart of gold ... and who wouldn't want Michelle O'Bama's arms? Also featured in this episode: Susie's gettin' witchy, and Angie farted at game night.

Would you bring Champagne as your only drink on a desert island? One of us would. How about a fancy adjustable bed? Yep -- one of us definitely would. This week we reveal our desert island wish lists, and Angie is a cheater. Also featured in this episode: Susie finds she underestimated a classic horror film, and Angie plans to sew some clothing (ass-less chaps?).

Don't you think you should just like what you like -- no guilt? We do too! Own those donuts, yacht rock tunes, and cheesy Hallmark movies! Also featured on this week's episode: Susie may or may not have stayed at a haunted hotel, and Angie wonders where she'd put litter boxes in a tiny house.

This week's episode should probably be called, 'What the Smell?" We try coffee substitutes and have definite opinions about their tastes and smells. Also featured this week: "Smell my pits!;" dating yourself for Valentine's Day; childhood memories of "Country Crotch" butter substitute; and Angie's disgusting gloves. Enjoy!

Are Gen X women facing unique roadblocks? Author Ada Calhoun thinks so, and we agree. This week, we dig into Why We Can't Sleep: Women's New Midlife Crisis, and gab about the book, as well as our own experiences and coping strategies. Also featured in this episode: Susie's husband's otherworldly experience with pork nugs, and Angie's empty nesting for the second time around.

What kind of underwear do YOU wear? Has your changing body or age affected the type of skivvies you purchase? This week we share our own exciting (and no-so-exciting) underwear journeys, as well as muse over such topics as period panties and bubble-wrap chaps. Also featured in this week's episode: Susie's mid-century furniture frenzy and Angie's condo-manifesting madness.

Are we turning into our moms? We share advice our mothers gave us, including marriage wisdom and boob-touching magic. Also featured in this episode: Susie's tool-stealing, Angie's opinions on American cheese and mayo, and Gwyneth's overpriced vag candle.

What does your favorite color say about you? We dig into colorful personalities and try not to throw too much shade. Also featured in this episode: Susie's a not-so-secret Hamburgler; people are sunning "where the sun don't shine," Angie slows the F down; and ... who the hell gets the right to decide the color of the year?

Compression boots, sober curiosity, and animal flow classes -- we chew the fat on these and more wellness trends of the new year. Also in this episode: Angie walks into a glass wall, and Susie puts the skids under entertaining.

Happy 2020! New Year's resolution? How about a New Year's REVOLUTION? Let's get real up in here, friends. Also on this week's episode: Susie makes her goals in cavewoman-speak; Angie has a relationship with her pens; a discussion on the "gift" of whooping cough; twerking shenanigans -- and, as always -- much more!

Remember Christmas in the 70s and 80s? We relive our Christmas Vacation-esque memories, including such greats as a "divorce decree" Christmas carol and a nearly decapitated Christmas tree angel. Also featured: women who rock, chime candles, and crappy stocking stuffers.

Kick holiday stress in its shiny butt -- we have ideas! Also included in this episode: the, um, interesting smell of cumin; bucking the holiday expectations system, and more!

We're no longer giggly teenage girls -- well, no longer teenage girls -- but why shouldn't we talk about past and present crushes, celebrity or otherwise? This week, we discuss our "types" and our opinion on the Sexiest Man Alive situation over at People Magazine. Also featured in this episode: holiday shopping habits and fart-masking jeans (they're a thing!).

A second cookie? Yes, please! This week, we're giving you the green light to enjoy all those holiday treats you enjoy, and not give one sh*t about it. Life's too short to waste good mashed potatoes. Also featured in this episode: Susie's chiropractor's got boozy gifts to give, and Angie's got the 411 on her latest cult-tastic TV find.

Are you ever too old to do something daring with your hair? We don't think so. Even if you could never pull off the Farrah look back in the day, you can still rock those locks in a million different ways. Also featured in this episode: the questionable glory of canned cranberry "sauce;" marinating in gin and tonics, and more.

Do you have Resting Bitch Face (RBF)? First of all, who cares, and why are some people only comfortable when we smile? "You look prettier when you smile." STFU. Also featured in this episode: Susie's been living in an Amish Paradise (sort of); and why does Angie always end up with a different version of the same haircut?

Applying secret make-up, gossiping, naughty rendezvous-ing, losing jewelry in the toilet -- the ladies' room has and continues to be a cornucopia of sweet, funny, and, um, interesting memories. This week, we flush out our brains and recall some of our favorite ladies' rooms shenanigans. Also featured in this episode: bathroom stall poetry, new hairdos, and pre-holiday drinking.