Brilliant Observations

(Of what are you afraid?) Oh, I dunno. Sneezes, Skittles, death cleaning, failing, falling, and quite possibly burning down the house. It's a raucous, late night redo of an episode this week, Dearies. You won't want to miss it. 

It was the best of toes. It was the worst of toes. Listen in as Missy reinjures her engorgement — hey now — and somehow lives to tell the tale. Spoiler alert: the story involves an iPad, three doctors and a blow torch. What? Next, Amy and Missy move on to all the adulty things you don't get enough credit for doing now that you're an adult. You know the list: cleaning out the dryer lint, confronting someone you don't want to, completely stalling out and failing to achieve or understand your life's purpose. That sort of thing.  It's all shits and giggles from there, Dear Listener. Including a very special video shout out on our private Facebook group, BrillObSquad, of the bat-shittiest national anthem you have ever experienced. (Thank you, Belgium.) So don your favorite national flag cape, grab your flame-tipped sunglasses and settle in for your favorite hour with friends — Brilliant Observations. 

It’s around the world in 80 hours, Dear Listener, and boy do we have stories for you! Missy and Amy take to the skies to celebrate their college bestie on her 50th birthday, complete with a three mile hike straight up, beach rugby, late night pool parties and a rooftop concert. Throw in a weed store within walking distance of the rental property plus a fully stocked bar and you’ve got yourself one hell of a podcast.  There’s even a Very Special 30 Second with Amy, Murderers Edition, and a 50 States Quiz you won’t want to miss.  Jealous? Then JOIN US on the social @ListenBrilliant and BrillObSquad for all the juicy details. 

"I don't steal stuff" and other lies kick things off this week, complete with a long list of all the ways that Amy truly, really does not steal (all that often). Oh, dear, Dear Listener.  Next, Missy tackles the unsolvable problem of the crippling sloppiness of Amy's living environment. Stick with me here, gang. Gotta say, feeling real good about this show this week. (You wanted the truth!) 

It's an all out CAGE MATCH this week, Dear Listener, as Missy and Amy take extreme umbrage with the powers that be at Breakfast. You heard me. It's the Post, Kellogg, General Mills, Gererica SHOWDOWN with our Heavyweight of the Cereal Aisle. We rank em. We spank em. We can't believe how much we know about em. Play along with our Best Of List, or just wring your hands as Amy retells the story of 18 Year Olds Gone Bad, Housesitting Edition. What's not to love?  

Boy oh boy, Dear Listener, did we get feedback from you! So if last week's epsiode got you all riled up, you're in for a real treat. Join us as we discuss our shared admiration for the Jersey Jews, the Atlantic City Eye-talians, and of course, Justine Bateman's face. Oy.  All that plus Pants or Plan — a very special Missy quiz. Buckle up, buttercup. You won't want to miss this one. 

Don't you just love Melissa? Well, Dear Listener, then this episode is for you. This week, we discuss the wonders of Missy's oceanside abode, including long lost friend reunions, sandy canines, too tall entry stairs, sequestering ourselves on the third floor and the perils of dispatching Stuart back to reality (ope! there goes gravity, ope! there goes Rabbit he choked he's so mad but he won't give up that easy no...) Then, as we often do, we ever so eventually get to the meat of the matter: Justine Bateman's face. It's a judgy critique, friends. So go easy on Amy this week. (From the sound of things, kharma won't.) 

Celebrating another 'birthday week/month' with the rest of the Millenials, are we? Well, prepare to be judged, Dear Listener, 'cuz we're officially sick of it. Time to scale back your annual self-acknowledgment to a Boomer-approved cake slice accompanied by a single, yet hearty handshake. (These kids today.) From there, of course, we pivot to anal.  It's all in a day's conversation on the little podcast that could (but maybe shouldn't). And, you're welcome.  We're dropping this week's episode a wee bit early in deference to She Podcasts Live — where we're soaking up the virtual goodness with fellow independent female podcasters. So enjoy a few extra hours with us this week, gang. You never know what's in store next time.   

Feeling psychopath-curious? Look no further than this week's shamefully relatable episode. Dear Listener: is this you? Sweeping sidewalks and city streets as if they are your own? Eshewing "group poop" with individualized walks for your multiple pets? Judging friends for ignoring obvious solutions to their probems?  Ignoring the fact that you, too, behave exactly like the friends you're judging? All that, plus: Amy’s neighbors head to the airport for a planeside visit with former president Donald J. Trump, complete with toddler side eye and an unsolicited Sharpie tattoo.  We also delve deep into missing obituaries for people too distant to ask about, common fashion choices among teenage girls, private canine poop times and the perils of sharing phone contacts with your grown ass spouses.

Nothing like a handcrafted Face Spell to make a gal feel better about herself. Which begs the question: should Etsy be allowed to sell literal "beauty charms" as products? Amy says yes. Missy cries cult. You be the judge — who are we kidding, Dear Listener, we're definitely judging this week.  All that, plus a rousing round of Would You Rather, a monkey-infused Costa Rican Recap, and Experience Amnesia. 

From baby Botox to chin lifts, Morpheus laser and yellow dragon fruit, we’re covering how far we’ll go for beauty this week, Dear Listener. And believe you me, you’ll never guess the next thing Melissa’s putting in her mouth.  Plus, a travel update on Ethan has him visiting a war zone, then lying to Missy about his illusion of safety (consequently expanding the war zone radius).  Meanwhile, in North Carolina, there’s graduation, pervert training, and yet another Costa Rican toileting update. (S the F up.)  

Do you have a punchable face? Take our quiz and find out! And if that's not enough, we cover masculine energy, "IYKYK", Missy's Evil Mommy (Part 2,000), middle east security concerns, and no-bend, no-T slip on shoes (to address the untied shoelace epidemic). Join us, Dear Listener, as we briefly look back and whiplash forward on the little show that could 300 times over.  Nominated for TWO Sonic Bloom Awards — really? You bet cha, buster. So tell your friends. And rate us five stars. We love you!

If you're looking to start a side hustle training crows to bring you random change they find in the park, buy oh boy do we have a show for you. This week, we cover hoarding, underwear, ayahuasca, bodily fluids, hydrating fluids and the wildest, most disconnected assortment of stream of consciousness topics your fever-dreamed minds can handle. Enjoy!

For perhaps the first time ever, Missy and Amy disagree wildly on comedy show. Missy suspects it's a Jew thing. Amy blames Charlie Brown. Who will you blame? Listen and learn, Dear Listener, and we just might offer a few bonus Unexpected Penis appearances and VIP Vomit Hall of Famers for good measure. 

Is there anything more unsettling than adults behaving badly with other people's kids? Dear Listener, you be the judge as Amy and Melissa both experience many different sides of this sticky, silly, weepy, creepy situation.  Too long, didn't listen: kids are fragile. Behave accordingly.  And yes, we still laugh our asses off over stupid stuff and nonsense. Enjoy!