Brilliant Observations

It's a knock down, drag out, fruit-based fight, Dear Listener, and only one pastry can be the winner. So grab a fork and stick it in your nosy neighbor's ass (because we're done with the niceties this week, also). As always, there's lots to share, lots of laughs, and even more to love. We're so glad you're back. 

Easy, Perv. It only sounds gross. This week, we discuss Superbowl highlights, the merits of microaggression and fun with Florida. Look at us, making friends in every state. Gracious. 

Oh, Dear Listener, dare we show our age whilst we ask: does no one take advice anymore? It's a conundrum, to be sure, especially when you consider how willling and able we are to dish it out. But alas. These young ones today seem contented to flout our ways. Look at them, with their vacation "registries" and luxuriously nonfunctional fingernails. Tsk tsk. To think? How do they wipe?

Tell me 50 attractive, non-sexual traits you seek in a partner (and why Blake Lively has none of them). It's a sweeping conversation this week, Dear Listener, starting deep on Broad Street with Fly, Eagles, Fly and continuing down memory lane into the train wreck that is It Ends With Us. Good thing Missy's here with 30 seconds of penis content. Wang!

What goes down must come up, Dear Listener, at least in terms of gastric juices. Biohazard Amy shares a shocking number of fluid-based mishaps, while Melissa grapples with her authority as a creator of worlds. 

Happy New Year from Dry January Headquarters, Dear Listener. We're coming in HOT this week with a host of penis shaped weather nonsense, the miracle of salt water and Stuart's antics at the Sauna Club. All that plus 30 seconds with Amy, MIssy boards a plane and LISTENERR FEEDBACK (and it's not even Christmas). 

Welp, we made it, Dear Listener. 2024 is officially behind us. And if you're like most, you're feeling remarkably un-verklempt at the passing of said Poo Sandwich. Good news is: we're gearing up for our Best. Year. Eva. And we want you to come with.  Yes, Melissa. I ended a sentence with a with.  See? There are worse things than all of 2024.  Join us this week for a rolicking look back at our holiday foibles, our lives on sonder, tips and tricks for surviving dark hallways, and your favorite, Dear Listener Feedback! We're so grateful for you—and for this joyous gift of friendship. What a ride.  

Happy Merry Joyous Blessed Easy Crispy Fresh Squeezed Hot & Ready Now, Dear Listener. (Should old aquiantance be forgot.) We love you, we mean it. Our highest best and always, Melissa and Amy. 

Greetings, Soufganiot fans. You'll be pleased to know that the annual cost of Christmas Trees has now surpassed $4.6 billion per family. Score one for Hannukah! In other news, Missy continues to deal with the detritus of The Great Purge. Amy discusses the possibility of removing all her hair. And we both fantasize about the hidden riches of highway based realities.  

It's Go Time, Dear Listener, and you're on deck with a mission critical assignment: FEEDBACK. Our girl is struggling this week, and the only thing to cure her funk is a mountain of positive reinforcement in the form of Listener Engagement. So hop on Gmail and drop Missy a line at brilliantobervations@gmail.com. Social media more your speed? Post to your channel and tag @ListenBrilliant. Or just stand at the nearest window and scream until your lungs expire. (Oh wait, that's what Missy's doing.)  Once you're done, give us a listen. We promise we'll give you a laugh.  Topics this week include smiling in the face of death, the great closet purge, CBS "television" shows, teen vomit, and the death of a healthcare CEO (or birth of a legend).    

It's not everyday that Melissa dictates the name of the episode. But so moved was she this week, Dear Listener, that she did just that. We give you: Amy's Thanksgiving.  Enjoy. 

Dance, Monkey, Dance — it's Thanksgiving, Dear Listener! We've loaded up the laughs to make the time fly as you prep, plump, clean, commute, gorge, purge, decorate, designate and defacate your way through this blessed secular holiday. (Still sorry, Native 'Merica!) Join us, won't you, as we ignore the news, forget cultural references and dig deep in family drama. In You Can't Eat at Errybody House news, Missy suffers a fresh insult that shall henceforth be known as KUGELGATE.  Thirty seconds with Amy is back, along with your favorite, Non Sequitur Theatre featuring Matthew McConaughey's whistling tuna sandwhich. Plus, Missy melts down over the anorexia cry for help masquerading as the Wicked press tour. (Eat a sandwich, Ariana. Seriously.) We love you.  We're grateful for you.   

Asking for a friend... and don't be gross. We cover a lot of ground this week, Dear Listener, including the perils of poorly planned Friendsgiving, toddlers making soup, Missy's fascination with the societal promise of gastrointestinal distress, and Brides Behaving Badly. It's another joyful romp through the ADHD wilderness. And we can't wait to take you along for the ride. 

Continue the distraction with upbeat giggles and advice from We, the Righteous. Join us as we energize each other, embrace our unique talents, and smile our way through this glorous gift we call life. 

Who's ready for a laugh? Join us, Dear Listener, as we bounce our way through all the ridiculousness Missy can't seem to avoid on TikTok starting with Hate Cups: A User's Guide. Amy comes in strong with some poorly managed breathing exercises (because, Science) then follows it up with nasocranial biohazards, party edition. Josh and Josh's Mom make their usual unwelcome dish, and we all enjoy a brief round up of Famous Athletes Acting Badly featuring sports friends gone bad Jason (or is it Travis?) Kelsey and basketballer Joel Embiid. See? I do watch sports.  Remember: if a problem can be fixed, then being angry is no use.  And if a problem can't be fixed, then being angry is no use.  Sending love to the crest fallen, bruised, dejected and at risk.  We see you.  We serve you.  We are you.  With grateful hearts, the work continues. 

Mmmmm...catalogs. Is there anything better to arrive in the mail? Sears. JC Penney. Spiegel. Consumer Distributors. J Peterman. Even The ToysRUs Look Book. Missy takes us down mail-order memory lane as a sweet antidote to the daring political discussion of early voting in our two battleground states. Then, it's Tom Hardy's dog's voice. Subtitles. And a fullsome dissection of the Netflix hit Nobody Wants This. Super bouncy this week, Dear Listener. Give us a play. You won't regret it!

What's more shocking than Dairy Queen's new vomit-themed chicken slabs? Perhaps warm pimento cheese masquerading as a gay-hating chicken crime. Missy does the Lord's work with a tricky visit to see her ornery parents. Her reward? A vintage Dow Jones ticker and 6.2 billion Toby mugs (all available to ship now). Amy goes wee wee wee all the way home on a Trump pee-pad rumor. But don't fret, Dear Listener. Our focus on the heavy stuff is as fleeting as the breeze though a Florida wind chime. 

It's another whirlwind episode, Dear Listener, and not just because of Hurricane Milton. Join us as we dive deep into Missy's true love language — gifting — only to discover the biggest gift she could ever give "doesn't come from the store." Well, well! Color me interested. 

Move over, Call Her Daddy, there's a new STD-aware podcast in town. Jim Carey kills another one — or does he? Missy officiates a wedding. And Amy suffers the cosmic trauma of TikTok's Josh (and Josh's Mom).