Brilliant Observations

The pull of gravity has reached our jowels, Dear Listener, and the only one coming to save us is Corporate Thor. Good thing little girls are here to annoy the fugg out of us on an airplane. Interested? You should be. We explore all these topics this week, plus: should Melissa give up her daily sleepy-weed ritual? You be the judge (for a change). Lord knows we could use a break fomr that job. 

"My home is not a landfill, storage unit or museum. How can I use my things if I can't even see them?" All hail Abigail Roe ad @downsizeupgrade for the chant that changed it all. Plus, Missy talks us through the act of sticking things where they don't belong. Amy thins her wigs. And the Boundary Police make another appearance, this time in the form of everyone's favorite word: No.

Busch Light Apple and the importance of teaching your children that no amount of added flavor can offset the actual flavor of anything with the name Busch in it. Moving on. Missy contemplates the wide open karmic spaces of a summer at the beach. Amy reports on the little one's State Championship lacrosse game and the ritualistic burning of Nottaway Plantation (no relation). And Missy does everything she can to avoid much needed rest. 

From Action Dick to the gradual lessening of the finger bang, Melissa takes us on a journey of discovery that spans races, cultures and double stuff Oreos. Then, it's the Pope (as you would expect), plus liming, gift giving and the first installment of Ask Me Anything. And given where the content started, it's hard to imagine where these free-for-all questions will lead us next. Happy Mother's Day!

Don't say we didn't warn you, Dear Listener. TikTok is at it again with an obnoxious food-adjacent "snack" that can only be described as relationship-ending. Amy accidentally gropes herself in public (again). And Missy sums up the weekend that was after our 35th college reunion with the DSharps. 

Be smart enough to shred your own cheese. And be worth it, Dear Listener. That's the lesson. In bread and all things, just be worth it. We hold space for you in our sacred sirloin area as Melissa determines the do's and absolutley do not's when it comes to foreign hands comingling with one's warmed bread.  Plus, we acknowledge the Pope, and cinnamon, and Kenny Rogers, and problematic extended family in social settings (with equal reverence).  You'll get it. Just press the button. 

Fly away, friends! We discuss all sorts of air-based travel this week, Dear Listener, including Dogs on Planes, Birds on Branches and—cue the Muppets—Chicks! In! Space! Missy slips it in again. And Amy neglects her duties. Big. Suprise. Or is it?

An unexpected visit from the cops at midnight prompts Amy to reconsider her parenting techniques. Missy ruminates on why she ruminates. And the deadline for Our Second Act fast approaches—with no resolution in sight. (To say nothing of the poop podcast.) All this on more, Dear Listener. 

Here'e the thing: if you're not experiencing heightened arousal at the sign of a delicately handled kraft paper bag, are you even alive? Join us, Dear Listener, as we journey down the rabbit hole of birthdays, work-husbandry and the half-life of a vat of Hellmann's. 

Oh, Walt. If you could see how they're treating us you'd set fire to Epcot, too. It's Fat Shaming at the Magic Kingdom, Dear Listener, complete with actual weigh-ins and colored wrist bands lest you thought you could escape. Because nothing says vacation like a mandatory weight check before standking for hours in the Orlando sun. Good times.  Missy muses about the business upside of hosting fictitious weddings. And Amy takes an unscheduled trip straight to the heart of Mafia Village. 

If ever one wondered, Dear Listener, please know that sitting is the opposite of standing. Join us as we explore this and other truths this week while Stuart fights for his life after declaring his intention to "clean out" the garage. (Oh dear.) Missy updates us on her rising Legal Eagle. And Amy inxeplicably launches into a Ted Talk on international spam protocols. As one does. It's a laugh riot per uhuuuussse, sweet ones. So please enjoy. We certainly did!

Cadaver Flight, Chikfil-a Wedding Day and Guess What's Under the Mattress—all this and more, on today's Brilliant Observations! Join us, won't you, as Amy shuns Michael Jackson's musical legacy, welcomes appliance repair folk and resists the allure of the prison fork. Meanwhile, Missy does the research on imbiciles getting married, imbiciles making remakes and, of course, imbiciles doing the research. 

Tom Hanks, high maintenance friends and relatable poop talk (is it, though?) are but some of the conversational gems we bring you this week, Dearest Listener. As always, thank you for tuning in, turning on and turning out for us each and every episode. We love you! 

She's stealing hearts and smelling farts, Dear Listener, so strap in. We've got another cavalcade of nonsense queued up for you this week, including Birthday Party Trauma, Mrs. Bojangles and (my favorite) Broken Chain of Custody Chicken. Weeeeee!  

It's a knock down, drag out, fruit-based fight, Dear Listener, and only one pastry can be the winner. So grab a fork and stick it in your nosy neighbor's ass (because we're done with the niceties this week, also). As always, there's lots to share, lots of laughs, and even more to love. We're so glad you're back. 

Easy, Perv. It only sounds gross. This week, we discuss Superbowl highlights, the merits of microaggression and fun with Florida. Look at us, making friends in every state. Gracious. 

Oh, Dear Listener, dare we show our age whilst we ask: does no one take advice anymore? It's a conundrum, to be sure, especially when you consider how willling and able we are to dish it out. But alas. These young ones today seem contented to flout our ways. Look at them, with their vacation "registries" and luxuriously nonfunctional fingernails. Tsk tsk. To think? How do they wipe?

Tell me 50 attractive, non-sexual traits you seek in a partner (and why Blake Lively has none of them). It's a sweeping conversation this week, Dear Listener, starting deep on Broad Street with Fly, Eagles, Fly and continuing down memory lane into the train wreck that is It Ends With Us. Good thing Missy's here with 30 seconds of penis content. Wang!