Stinker Madness - The Bad Movie Podcast

It's time for Jackie to choose another Razzie winning and highly nominated "musical". In 2001, men in ties decided to crap in our ears and eyes as the allow Mariah Carey to create her own movie about her career (sorta). Get ready for gluch.... Streaming Do's and Don'ts The Curse of Sleeping Beauty - Netflix Justin's Top 5 80's Action Guys! 5. Kurt Russell - Escape from LA, The Thing, Big Trouble, Tango & Cash4. Chuck Norris - Delta Force, Firewalker, Invasion USA, Lone Wolf McQuade3. Jackie Chan - Project A, Meals on Wheels, Police Story, Armour of God2. Sly Stallone - All Rambos, Rocky IV, Cobra, Tango & Cash1. Arnold Schwarzenegger - Conan, Commando, Predator, Running Man Here's who is NOT on the list: Bruce Willis - Blow Hard IV - I'm a douchebag Mel Gibson - Being in a film franchise where you make quirky faces and deliver lines at the speed Robin Williams tells jokes doesn't qualify as action guy. Carl Weathers - Action Jackson's lack of action is an instant out - nice backflip over

Chuck Norris, Louis Gosset Jr, and Melody Anderson go on a wild ride through various adventures on the way to get treasure. Along the way the face alligators, sinking cars, rebels, gang-rape village, the Mexican Gestapo, their own visual appearance, and elaborate aboriginal death traps. Sounds ridiculous? It is indeed. Firewalker is Golan and Globus' take on the very popular and quite good, Romancing the Stone. In fact, it's a veritable carbon copy of the film but with your typical Cannon Films ineptitude. It's writing is completely out of control stupid, the entire plot is irrelevant to itself, characters have strange motivations and are generally unneeded, the acting stinks, the cast possesses zero charm or chemistry, and the action sequences are written by children. With all that in mind, Firewalker is a lot of fun in the usual Cannon flair. It's incredibly dumb, the comedy is so hammy, the action is head-slappingly stupid, the acting is awful, the story is poorly envisioned, and it never

Charles Norris returns again for his 3rd appearance on the show in a teamup with awful acting staple, Louis Gossett, Jr. in Firewalker. A film that appears to be a complete knockoff of Indiana Jones or Romancing the Stone or take your pick. Can Chuck Norris bring the comedy that he's so well known for? Or will this be as laughable as toothpaste?

Our good movie friend Tucker stops by to discuss one of the greatest/stupidest action movies of all time. Be prepared for ridiculous (hilarious) Arnold impressions. Commando is so iconic and such a staple in "men with guns" movies that it's hard to avoid and impossible to dislike. It's level of over-the-top is unequaled that for the next 15 years in film, every action attempts to be Commando but none have come close. It's the model, but at the same time it's SOOOOO stupid. So the plot...John Matrix must confront a fat man in a yarn shirt who isn't the main villain to rescue his daughter who probably is just really bored. Along the way there is an incredible amount of ridiculousness but SOOO much awesomeness as well as Arnold tears through a ludicrous amount of bad guys. It's very easy to understand Matrix's motivations but every other character really doesn't have any. Why is Cindy so involved? What could Bennett possibly have to gain? How does Dan Hedaya's guy possible expect to take over a count

To purge ourselves from the misery of last weeks movie we dowse ourselves in awesomeness and then light ourselves on fire (that was all figurative, in no way do we endorse lighting yourself on fire...unless you're a total tool, then go for it) and let Arnold take the show over it the quintessential action movie of the 1980s (maybe even ever) but still incredibly dumb, Commando. Fall SMABFA Contenders Ben-Hur - Uh, you know you screwed up here. Nine Lives - Thanks for telling our kids they are stupid and will like anything. Their not and they hated this. The Mechanic: Resurrection - Statham takes a shot at getting that Best Bad Movie title. Possible surprise one here. Rings - So what? Sumara lives in Netflix now? Come on it worked (barely) with VHS but 20 years later is too much later.... The Wild Card - Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor Joan Crawford - Mommie Dearest The Waits Family - Troll 2 Mike Roark - Volcano Harry Dalton - Dante's Peak

Here's a fun concept - take something as boring to watch as bowling and then make a movie that is just as boring about said boring thing. You've then got a very accurate representation of something super boring. Wow. Thanks a lot bowling movie. Dreamer is arguably the most boring movie ever made. There's levels of bad that are definitely worse as far as film-making. See Manos, Monster-a-Go-Go, Sssssss, and so forth come to mind. The good thing about all those films is that there's at least something to either hate, scratch your head over, or just be angry about. This causes no emotions on any level. Its the least interesting film we've ever seen. Ever. No question. I don't even know how to write an entire review. I guess I'll try to write the synopsis so here goes: Dreamer is about a guy who bowls. So that's the synopsis. There's no plot to talk about. There's no events or character journeys. Oh a guy bowls himself to death, but even that is shot boringly.  Don't watch Dreamer under any cir

In this week's podcast spectacular of majesty, we've dug into the vaults and pulled out a brown stain in sports film-making history from 1979. It's the tale of the super exciting world of bowling. What? You didn't know bowling could be exciting? Well put on your slippery shoes and grab your ball bag because we didn't either! "Streaming" Do's and Don'ts Deadly Blessing - Amazon Prime Warrior of Justice - IMDB Future-Kill - IMDB The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate The ability to control 5 mosquitos - 3/10 stars About Dreamer - Movie Information

Our second of back to back "stupid volcano movies from 1997" is the possibly the least disastery of any disaster movies ever created. Spoiler alert - body count is 5 and a tiny hick town gets cleared off the map. It's fine since they were just a bunch of smug buttholes anyways. So if Volcano should have been named "Lava; Not Volcano Really", then Dante's Peak should have been called "Volcano; No Lava Really". It's a perfect mirror in opposite land. The volcano is HUGE but has very little lava. In fact the only thing that lava kills in this film is some truck tires. Very strange. In the film Volcano, the disaster is at least disastrous, somewhat. In Dante's Peak its very not that way. A town of about 3000 people gets wiped out but only 4 people die due to the volcano; 3 of them didn't even live there and one was an insane old bitch that NO ONE liked. It's pretty not disastrous; quite unlike the structure of this sentence. Some notable features - the stupidest robot in a movie, an old hag

Hey remember that OTHER volcano movie from 1997? Well its here on Stinker Madness to finally help us answer that age old question: which 1997 volcano movie is the most stupid? Dante's Peak stars Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton. Roman's Do's and Don'ts Ninja Busters -  Dangerous Men - $3.99 on  The Barbarians -  The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate Extreme resistance to extreme heat but only from above - 3/10 stars

Tommy and Anne face off against some hot magma ("What's Magma?") in the first of two 1997 volcano movies. This one features a lead character who should be fired and never hired for his job, a slew of disaster movie cliches (Dog never dies, anyone?) and Stan, the Man-Chucking Man in possibly the stupidest movie we've ever seen on this show. Let's start off by declaring how incredibly dumb this movie is. Every single bit of "science" is telegraphed to the audience because "Hey! They're stupid!" such as the definition of tectonic activity, gravity and magma. The volcano has a mind of its own and has Tommy Lee Jones sense meaning if Tommy is coming its sneaky and hides from him. The government officials of LA have no clue how things should work and it seems Tommy's Roark is the mayor as everyone calls him or reports to him daily even before the eruption. The Chief of Police even calls to obligatorily yell at someone, even if its completely unrelated to Emergency Management of which Roark is the director of. I ca

Surprise! Volcano! Tommy Lee Jones comes in to ask what magma is and see if his volcano movie of 1997 can be the dumber of the year. We all know its stupid, but how stupid can it be? Roman's Do's and Don'ts Lust for Freedom (1987) - YouTube Furious (1984) - IMDB The Zero Boys (1986) - IMDB Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate Electro-magnetic Telekinesis - 3.5 stars

The Corey's team up to help Haim get his drivers license and bang a girl. Along the way, they go on a slew of crimes mostly involving reckless endangerment but also sexual assault and child pornography in a showcase of how horrible the 80s were. Not even Heather Graham and Carol Kane can save this. This film is a pukefest of 80s trends, stupidity, and selfishness. It's a perfect capsule of something that is horrible. So yes, it captures the essence of the decade but the decade sucks and so does this film. Sorry lovers of Aquanet.  Feldman is passable and the least annoying of the two but that's not saying much. Corey Haim's performance and character are awful and within 20 minutes you just want Les (Haim) to crash the car and explode or just get grounded and actually follow the punishment by staying in his room for the duration of the film. Heather Graham's Mercedes Lane is a testament of how bad this film stinks. They've made an 18 year old, arguably the hottest woman in Hollywood look like a circus c

The "Coreys" make their official first appearance on the show with the 80's cheesefest about teenagers getting driver's licenses. This sounds like a recipe for disaster as the 80's sucked, teenagers suck and drivers training sucks the worst! At least Heather Graham is easy on the eye-balls. Streaming Roman Do's and Don'ts Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor (1990) - IMDB Hired to Kill (1990) - IMDB Steele Justice (1987) - IMDB Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate Spit! The Acne Cure - 7 out of 10 Special Guest - Jackson Murphy Jackson from the Lights Camera Jackson film review blog stops in and shares with us his picks for the first half of 2016 for the SMABFA awards. He's also doing an incredible charity promotion for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. We urge all of you to contribute and follow Jackson through his fundraiser and his career. He's a great guy.

John Rambo comes to us in the third installment of the First Blood/Rambo franchise in the pinnacle of 80's over the top action. It's fun, it's stupid, its violent, and ridiculous. But in the year 2016 and how much we don't really care for ethnic cleansing, it's also a little offensive. Bullets and fire are allergic to Rambo, he has teleportation powers, and he's suddenly an expert horseman. He can fly choppers, drive tanks, use booby traps and shows how deadly glow sticks are. It's loads of stupid fun. Never letting off the stupid, the film continues to climb into an incredibly stupid climax that involves a game of chicken between two things that should never be used to do such a thing. Rambo III is a classic stinker and makes all the right/wrong moves. It's too much fun to be missed. Just try to leave your loathing of horrible bad men at the credits.

Carolco decides its destiny by spending too much on a ridiculous film that involves a man causes fire and bullets to steer clear. It's the Stallord's one jillionth appearance on the show and we haven't even gotten to Tango & Cash, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot or Cliffhanger! Streaming Do's and Don'ts Reign of Fire - Starz Down n' Dirty - Amazon Prime  The Wild Card - Who would win in a knife fight? John Rambo (First Blood) vs John Rambo (First Blood: Part 2)

Troll 2 has been widely hailed as one of the best bad movies ever made what with its documentary called "Best Worst Movie" and also topping the IMDB Bottom 100. Sometimes though a film can be overpraised in its horrendousness. Will Troll 2 stand up to the critical analysis that has debunked such films as Gigli and Mommie Dearest? The short answer? No. No this movie is one of the worst ever made. The long answer is that Troll 2 is undoubtedly an incredible film. Each time you watch this film, you catch something new in its delirium. Its a wonderful treat upon each viewing. Its so crammed with crumminess that when you stop laughing maniacally you find just another terrible thing to laugh at in the next second. You can't stop laughing and it's brilliant. This movie is why we do what we do.

Finally, we hit one of the most notorious bad movies of all time. At one point, Troll 2 was the #1 lowest rated movie on IMDB.com until people realized it's freaking awesome. Praised by many and loved by tons, it's a treasure of a film and we can't wait to dive into it. Streaming Do's and Don'ts Darkman II: The Return of Durant - Starz Keoma - YouTube The Day the Clown Cried Edit - Youtube

In 1981, Faye Dunaway took the role of Joan Crawford and then thought she was on a one way track to Oscar Town. Instead, her completely unbelievable performance bought her a bus ticket to Razzieville. We take on this cult classic and try to determine the ultimate question of "Is it really that bad or good?" So there's truly only one thing to talk about regarding this film. It's Faye Dunaway's performance. So much has been said about this role and her completely ridiculous take on being an insane person. You can't take her seriously. The character is doing completely horrible things that bear no semblance to anything a rational person would do but Faye's take on it is outlandish. It's impossible and by far the most interesting part of the whole damn thing. Unfortunately, her freak outs are too few and far between. The rest of the film is painfully uninteresting. You're stuck wading through mooping around waiting for Joan to drink to much and throw a tissy fit. It's poorly paced, poorly written, and poorly ed

One of the most prolific bad movies of all time finally lands on the show with Jackie's choice in the Faye Dunaway "acted" biography adaptation of Mommie Dearest. It's the story of Joan Crawford and her very progressive and seemingly quite fair treatment of stolen baby, Christina. So many Razzie wins but will it hold up to the Stinker Madness treatment? Streaming Do's and Don'ts Twisted Justice - Amazon Prime Project Metalbeast - YouTube Striking Distance - Starz The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate Fart force fields - 4 out of 10 stars

ID4:2 comes to a Bad Movie Field Trip on the show this week. Will it be stupid fun enough to get into that elusive Best Bad Movie category for the 2016 SMABFAs? Can it at least be better than that damn Jupiter Ascending? So now, to the fun. You can tell that Roland had fun making this. He had to work within the rules of a stupid studio but worked his silly business in without catching the ire of the men in ties at FOX. Specifically, Vivica A. Fox's completely unnecessary appearance in this film, except for the simple service of Roland saying "You were the worst thing to happen to me!" Her death caused all three of us to laugh out loud in the theater. Secondly, Brent Spiner....wow. Brent was in the first one and was fun then but his character was relegated to punchline deliveries only. This time, his character is central to the story and has a unique non-cliche summer blockbuster idiom. Throughout Brent Spiner kills each line and is the biggest show stealer we've seen in a summer movie in years. More Br