Selfwork With Dr. Margaret Rutherford | Self-help | Mental Health | Depression | Anxiety | Relationship Problems| Therapy

Apologizing, saying “I’m sorry,” is quite difficult for many people. Yet a sincere heartfelt apology can make a world of difference in a relationship. Dr. Margaret adds to a list of good and not so good apologies that appeared in The Wall Street Journal (written by Elizabeth Bernstein), including the contingency apology, the passing the […] The post 048 SelfWork: The Apology. The Good, The Bad And The Ugly appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Narcissism has been a hot topic for the past few years, with many people writing about their fate — being attracted to and trying to love someone with narcissistic traits. Dr. Margaret talks clearly about what narcissism is and what it’s not, as well as offering five recognitions about your own role in the furor […] The post 047 SelfWork: If You Love (Or Have Loved) A Narcissist appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

If you haven’t heard about Harvey Weinstein, you may have been living under a rock the last couple of weeks. He’s been accused of sexual harassment and assault by multiple women. Dr. Margaret relays an incident in her own history with sexual harassment, and how it made her feel. She also focuses on human’s normal […] The post 046 SelfWork: How A Woman Feels Around A Harvey Weinstein appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Dr. Margaret received a fascinating question from a listener recently. “How do I learn to feel my feelings, when I’ve been suppressing them for years?” The key is self-compassion, and it’s vital in healing from depression, anxiety or what I term perfectly hidden depression. Dr. Margaret focuses on self-compassion, giving examples from her own patients […] The post 045 SelfWork: Self-Compassion. What It Is And Why It’s Vital appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

If you have already experiencing depression, anxiety or even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), you may be being triggered by the horrific massacre in Las Vegas. In this special edition of SelfWork, Dr. Margaret offers some important ideas on how to process your thoughts and emotions if your symptoms have re-emerged or are worsening. Please […] The post 044 SelfWork: Is Your PTSD, Depression Or Anxiety Being Triggered By The Last Vegas Tragedy? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Friends. They’re often your “family of choice.” They can be wonderfully satisfying, intellectually challenging, and just plain fun. But what happens when one friend backs out of the friendship?  How do you understand it, grieve the loss and move on? Dr. Margaret speaks again of her own experience with being “ghosted” by a friend, and […] The post 043 SelfWork: When Friendships End appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

“I’m not in love with you anymore.” These are words that can bring pain, confusion — a total feeling of rejection and emotional abandonment. How do couples try to prevent this from happening? What do you need to do to stay connected and committed? What’s the one question you heed to ask yourself? Dr. Margaret […] The post 042 SelfWork: How To Fall Back In Love (Or Make Sure You Stay) appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Loving “long distance” is something that many people have to learn how to do. Whether you live far away from parents, your partner, your children or great friends, maintaining that relationship can require understanding, flexibility and other significant personal skills. Dr. Margaret tells her personal story of living away from loved ones, both as a […] The post 041 SelfWork: Making “Long Distance Love” Work appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

The rate of suicide is increasing dramatically in the United States as well as internationally, both in teenagers and in midlife. As this is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month in the US, Dr. Margaret discusses this cultural shift, quoting the fascinating work of prominent researcher Jean Twenge who reports a relationship between the emergence of the […] The post 040 SelfWork: Depression, Suicide And Your Cell Phone appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

There’s tremendous controversy about whether or not gender differences occur as a result of cultural influence or are they innate. What’s important for this podcast isn’t how they’re created, but what influence do they have on a couple’s communication? Dr. Margaret tells about her own observations in working with couples, and shares the ideas from […] The post 039 SelfWork: The Unique Basic Needs Of Women And Men appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

“When I sat down to record this morning, I could only think of the many tragedies, caused by humans and by nature, that have been occurring for the last few weeks and months. I felt paralyzed. What did what I might have to say matter? Then I remembered a stranger’s kindness, and I smiled.” Dr. Margaret tells […] The post 038 SelfWork: Kindness Matters appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Parenting. It’s hectic, Complicated. Fatiguing. Wonderful. Meaningful. Frightening. One would think that it would be easier with two people doing it, and it is in many ways. But you can get in battles about everything from who’s the better parent to who cares the most to who is the better disciplinarian. Dr. Margaret offers four […] The post 037 SelfWork: How To Parent Well Together appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

In today’s podcast, Dr. Margaret talks about a certain type of shame that’s rarely revealed after sexual abuse. What is that shame? It’s the result of your body responding with arousal during the actual abuse itself. What’s vital to understand is that arousal doesn’t reflect consent — not in any way. Dr. Margaret describes conditions […] The post 036 SelfWork: The Shame No One Talks About After Sexual Abuse appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

No one has a “say” in the kind of parents we had. Some are lucky, and have parents who loved them deeply and cared for them in a healthy way. Many are not so lucky, and have to deal with very painful memories, the emotions that stem from them, and how their present life may […] The post 035 SelfWork: Four Steps To Heal From Parental Abuse appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

There is a huge difference between divorce with children, and divorce without children. Dr. Margaret offers nine practical and do-able choices to make when living out your divorced life, with shared children. “Getting along for the children’s sake” can lead to your children to survive the divorce and thrive in their lives, whereas a continuation […] The post 034 SelfWork : Divorce. How To “Get Along For The Kids’ Sake” appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

What is the relationship between self-esteem and self-acceptance? And how do you manage to hang on to either when you’re experiencing depression? Dr. Margaret gives you her perspective, with the offering that no one fact about you defines you as a person. She also describes the difference between resignation and acceptance, and how the latter […] The post 033 SelfWork: How Self-Esteem And Self-Acceptance Work Together, Even With Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Hiding or detaching temporarily from emotional pain is a healthy skill. If you have something hurtful happen, but you need to “get your act together” in order to work, or watch children, then knowing you can do that rather than being besieged by your pain, reflects emotional competence. However, people with Perfectly Hidden Depression have […] The post 032 SelfWork: The Nine Paths To Perfectly Hidden Depression appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

The Beck Depression Inventory has been used to identify depression for many years. But it will miss those with Perfectly Hidden Depression, due to the fact that they’d rarely allow themselves to reveal their pain, not even to a computer. Even people with more moderate classic depression may discount or deny their symptoms — no […] The post 031 SelfWork: Hiding Depression And Perfectly Hidden Depression – Is There A Difference? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

“I love you, but….” How do we handle criticism, even “constructive criticism” from people we care about? Often, not too well. That could be a problem with how it’s delivered, how we hear it, or both. Dr. Margaret discusses what makes critical feedback so difficult and offers ten ideas of how to get out of […] The post 030 SelfWork: “I Love You, But…” The Art Of Giving And Receiving Criticism appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Today’s podcast is a little unusual. Dr. Margaret’s telling a bit of her own love story with the man she married almost 28 years ago. She wrote a post about their marriage in 2014 that went viral on The Huffington Post, which she’s going to share with you, along with a few back stories of […] The post 029 SelfWork: Marriage Is Not For Chickens appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.