Betch Slapped

Before getting into the packed week of pop culture news, Sami recaps her Israel trip. Despite not being able to eat fries at the hotel’s pool, she still had a great time. Then Aleen and Jordana jump in to debrief the first celeb story: Leo DiCaprio’s break up. They go through Leo’s roster of girlfriends past, and realize he needs to get on U Up? stat. Then Jordana shares her latest revelation—watching tennis is actually fun. They all chat about Serena Williams’ final US Open, before debriefing her episode on Meghan Markle’s new podcast. They unpack the big q—who really is Meghan? The show wraps up with yet another discussion of Bennifer’s wedding, re: NDAs and the leaked dancing video. But who’s going to the Cayman Islands this week, might you ask? Hint: he was kissing Addison Rae’s mom at the VMAs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

They grow up so fast! Aleen shares all of the deets about Mila’s first bday party, and no, Jordana wasn’t invited. Don’t worry, it was a family-only affair, and yes, Jordana still analyzed every pic to make sure none of their other friends were there either. Meanwhile, Jordana went on a weekend trip to Charleston (sadly had no Southern Charm sightings). But speaking of celebs in the south, they debrief Bennifer’s three day wedding extravaganza in Georgia. Why wasn’t Casey Affleck in attendance? Then onto the *other* wedding—Sarah Hyland and Wells Adams tied the knot with a lot of the Modern Family cast. Jordana and Aleen wrap up the show with a whirlwind of celeb news: Scott Disick has a new, older-than-him girlfriend; Barbie Ferreira says goodbye to Euphoria; Taylor Swift is getting sued—again. Tune in for the breakdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welp folks, Sami’s leaving to go camp in the desert. Ok fine, she’s staying in a hotel and she’s just going on vacation, but this sparks a convo with Aleen and Jordana about adventure trips, go-bags, apocalypses. You know, the usual stuff. After they forget how they started talking about apocalypses in the first place, they pivot to the actual usual stuff—celeb news. Re: the Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt airplane altercation story. How did they get to this breaking point? And Brad Pitt might be dating who?! TBH, they realize Brad should be dating Ben Affleck (they give v similar vibes), but unfortunately Ben can’t right now—he and JLo are entering their 3 day wedding extravaganza. Then onto Kathy Hilton’s philanthropic endeavors for homeless people, which oddly segues well into Kanye’s latest Yeezy x Gap collection. Is Kanye fetishizing homeless people? They wrap up with TV talk and have the great debate: what makes an icon? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That’s a wrap! U Up? Live has officially solved dating everywhere, and Jordana, Aleen, and Sami give the highlight reel. But there’s still one (ex)couple no one can figure out—the mystery that is Kim K and Pete Davidson. The ever surprising duo broke things off, and we have q’s: Was the relationship real and the break-up is the PR stunt? What’s going to happen to Pete’s Kim tattoos? And most importantly, who will they date next? Then onto another ex-couple who made headlines this week—Britney Spears and Kevin Federline with the parenting video drama. Lots to unpack. There might also be trouble in newlyweds Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz’s billionaire paradise, and they dive into the age-old rift of wife vs mother-in-law (AKA Nicky vs Vicky). The show wraps up with Aleen’s fav topic: JAffleck was spotted canoodling at Dunkin Donuts. We just want to know, did JLo get munchkins?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aleen is sussed out with Britney Spears—maybe she’s not as free as the #FreeBritney movement thinks. Are the red posts on her insta red flags? Next, they debate Will Smith’s apology to Chris Rock over the Oscars slap. Jordana appreciates him owning the mistake, but not hating himself for making it. Then they cover Taylor Swift’s 170 Private plane trips THIS YEAR. Sami is convinced it’s a plot by Kris Jenner to defend Kylie. Chrissy Teigen is pregnant, and Beyonce’s new album has the bops we all needed, minus some controversial wording. Meanwhile, Monica Lewinsky does not approve… 8 years later. Finally, JAffleck announced a huge wedding reception, and we are NOT happy about it. What happened to their pure, intimate love? DM us who you would send to the Cayman Islands this week to sell timeshares. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

PSA: U Up? Live shows are really f*cking fun. Jordana shares all the deets from the Chicago show, which did include an onstage makeout sesh. Sami and Aleen can’t wait to join you at the NYC show, so be sure to get your tix ASAP. Then onto Aleen’s highly anticipated J-Affleck honeymoon theory. Are JLo and Ben actually a PR stunt after all? They debate, and Sami presents some pretty convincing evidence you’ll def want to hear. Speaking of industry intel, they chat about Sydney Sweeney’s latest interview breaking down the real Hollywood struggle. Group conclusion? Massive respect for you, Sydney. They wrap up discussing the people’s qualm: Instagram, you’re ruining everything. Where TF did the pics go? Let’s just say there are some top contenders for this week’s Hollywood Purgatory decision. IYKYK. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ICYMI, it’s really f*cking hot outside. Naturally, Sami, Aleen, and Jordana chat about the weather and their ideal temperatures. Have they simply run out of things to discuss? Don’t you worry, they have plenty of even hotter topics to get into. JLo and Ben Affleck tied the knot in Vegas, and Aleen agrees their relationship is no longer a PR stunt. Then onto TV: The Bear, Persuasion, The Rehearsal, Severance. They reminisce on their college days when they held HBO Sundays in their dorm (of course Jimmy John’s was involved), and watched shows together. Now they’re all just logged into Sami’s Hulu account, which is basically the same thing. The ep wraps up with an examination of Kylie Jenner’s spending habits (Can Kylie keep us out of a recession with all her shopping?), before giving an update on the Armie Hammer Cayman Islands situation. Re: Robert Downey Jr. is now involved. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Howdy, y’all. Jordana is tuning in from the v hot Austin, TX following a U Up? Live show, and recaps the trip with Sami and Aleen (a penis donut was involved). Things have also been heating up in the celeb world, and they unpack the big D—drama, obviously. Headline #1: Khloe Kardashian welcomes a second child via surrogate, with the unwelcomed Tristan Thompson as the father. They get into a heated debate—does it matter if your siblings have different parents? Across the reality show aisle, they debrief Jen Shah’s guilty plea before diving into the mystery that is Armie Hammer working as a timeshare salesman in the Cayman Islands. You can’t make this sh*t up. Then onto the Funny Girl drama (re: Beanie Feldstein and Lea Michele), before wrapping up with some Emmy nominations talk. Jordana presents the new @ Betches ending—who are you sending to Hollywood purgatory, AKA selling timeshares with Armie in the Cayman Islands? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aleen’s up first to debrief the holiday weekend, re: she didn’t actually do much. Jordana, however, did a plethora of classic July 4th activities—a baseball game, ice cream, and…Benihana? Sami then breaks down her holiday excursion, which included a large fight in a tiny cabin in the woods. The argument started off with cutting tomatoes, but as we know, it’s never just about the tomatoes. Then onto pop culture, which like Aleen’s weekend, was pretty slow. Rihanna is now the youngest self-made billionaire, and they debunk the self-made scale. How TF is Kylie Jenner so high on the list? Then onto Cameron Diaz’s un-retirement (didn’t even know she retired TBH), Lindsay Lohan’s comeback and recent marriage, and a discussion of the very Derelicte-esque Balenciaga show. And don’t forget, U Up? Live is still on tour. They’re headed to Austin, Chicago, and New York—get your tix at betches.co/uuplive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you watched anything good lately? Well Jordana, Aleen, and Sami have, and fill you in on all their latest TV and movie finds. And yes, Everything, Everywhere, All At Once is discussed. Then onto everything, everywhere celeb drama. First up is Chris Pratt’s latest Men’s Health interview, and they unpack all the tea—re: Hillsong church accusations, comments about his son, and his place among the many Hollywood Chrises. Then, they couldn’t not debrief North West’s extravagant camp bday party, but are surprised by the lack of Kim K’s posts about it. Did Kim go to Staten Island once and finally become grounded? The show wraps up with a RHOBH recap, as Jordana, Aleen, and Sami discuss Diana’s callous comments about the CA wildfires—yikes Diana, yikes—and a new Betches airline is born. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tuning in live from sunny CA, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami are out west for the U Up? show in LA. They debrief the live event (surprise—they had a great time), and chat about dating today. Is it possible to meet someone in person anymore? Speaking of meeting people in person, they go through the roster of stars they’ve seen in LA. No Pete Davidson, but they drop some other big names. On the same thread of big names, they break down the latest celeb drama. Brace yourself, there’s a lot to debrief: Julia Haart is becoming the Jewish Kris Jenner, Khloe Kardashian’s new beau is a finance bro, Kendall Jenner’s break up, Brad Pitt’s new GQ cover, and of course, a chat about the new Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Say all that 10x fast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jordana starts today’s ep by debriefing the U Up? Live show in the cleaner, smaller New York—AKA Boston. Jordana, Aleen, and Sami are all going to the LA show next week, which will be the first time Aleen’s been to SoCal since her choker-wearing days. Obvi they can’t mention LA without a convo on the Kardashians, and how Kim K broke the Marilyn Monroe dress (yikes). They then talk about another LA star Justin Bieber, and his very scary facial paralysis. Next is a discussion of J.Lo’s new movie Halftime, before getting into the fat-shaming drama surrounding influencer Remi Bader. They wrap up with a chat about Britney Spears’ wedding (and her ex-BF wedding crasher), before debriefing how Erika Jayne can’t afford to pay $2 million in taxes. Have you seen her closet? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time has indeed passed, the clock continues to tick—AKA Jordana, Aleen, and Sami don’t have a ton of updates from the last time we all chatted. So, onto pop culture we go. Sami starts off by debriefing Julia Haart’s new book (re: the My Unorthodox Life star), and there’s a lot to discuss. No, it’s not PG, and Aleen even spits out her coffee after hearing one of the sex stories—you’ll def want to tune in. Back to PG programming, they segue onto celeb kids and discuss celeb parenting styles—think Prince Louis at the Platinum Jubilee and Pete Davidson taking Saint West on an outing sans Kim K. They wrap up by asking the big q we all wanna know: did Kylie Jenner name her baby yet? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ll never guess which celebs Sami met in Italy. Now that you’re v curious, tune in to hear Sami share all the detes with Jordana and Aleen about her Italian adventure (including overhearing a couple’s argument—everyone loves an eavesdrop moment). And speaking of celebs and…um…arguments, Sami, Jordana, and Aleen go over the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial verdict. A lot to break down. Then a quick chat about the new Top Gun movie, Tom Cruise, and naturally, Scientology, before sharing some unpopular opinions about Harry Styles’ music. They wrap up by talking about TV shows and movies, and yes, Aleen is rewatching Succession. Give her a new show to watch in a 5 star review and comment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week in the life of Betches: Aleen had her first house pool party (a saxophone was indeed brought out), Jordana’s getting a massage, and Sami’s actually in Italy right now with her mom (jealous). Of course, you can’t bring up Italy without diving into the spectacle that was Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker’s wedding. Jordana and Aleen discuss all the detes, before having a quick chat about sister Khloe and Tristan Thompson. Should Khloe keep defending him? They wrap up the ep with some TV talk, including The Staircase (you have to watch) and Candy (another must-watch). Let them know your fav show in a 5 star review. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this special bonus episode of the @Betches podcast, Jordana, Sami, and Aleen join moderator Ann Shoket (author and former editor-in-chief of Seventeen Magazine) live on stage from the WHH Empower Hour, presented by Heineken 0.0. They start with a conversation about the new definition of “work-life balance” and why it has become such a moving target. Plus, they offer some negotiating tips related to Jordana’s favorite topic, dating. Is finding the right job (and setting expectations) the same as finding a romantic partner? Next, they play a game of “Connected or Rejected” all about red flags when you’re applying for a new job. Finally, they close out the show with some questions from the audience and a pair of stories about cover letter mistakes and the worst interview they’ve ever witnessed. Thanks again to our presenting sponsor, Heineken 0.0! It’s 0.0% alcohol, and only 69 calories. Now you can. Must be 21+ to purchase. Please Enjoy Heineken Responsibly. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.

About last night… It was the Heineken 0.0 Empower Hour networking event, and Aleen, Sami, and Jordana hosted with a *fab* q & a session. Jordana killed it last night, but she reminisces on some socially awkward encounters she’s had with fans (re: Jordana was the awkward one), before they dive into pop culture. First up is a debrief of Kourtney and Travis’s wedding, before going over the never-ending Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial. Much to discuss. They wrap up with a *sort of* quick chat about RHOBH, as this season is already v dramatic. Don’t forget to leave a 5 star review and let them know what to cover next. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jordana is traveling (no, she’s not on the struggle bus again) but Sami and Aleen are here to give the ~411~ on all things pop culture. First off, Sami spills some more *piping* hot tea about the royal family, via The Palace Papers book she’s reading. Did you know Kate Middleton basically followed Prince William to school? Then onto the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ latest episode, where Sami and Aleen debrief it all: Dorit’s robbery, Erika’s lawsuits, and Sutton’s odd behavior. They wrap up with a Kim and Pete update, (is Kim controlling—yes or no), before sharing their current TV obsessions. Sami’s watching a great new show and Aleen’s watching a great show from two years ago (better late than never). Tune in for their recs and comment your own in a 5 star review. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before diving into life updates, Sami, Aleen, and Jordana discuss the major update that will affect all of our lives—the Roe v. Wade news. Be sure to tune into the Betches Sup for more resources and updates. Jordana then recaps her time on the struggle bus (à la U Up? Podcast and Pizza Hut), Sami explains how she’s been bamboozled out of her home office, and Aleen shares her furniture-ordering struggle. Re: pop culture, there’s a lot of sh*t to discuss. On the sched: Kim Cattrall’s tell-all interview about Sex and the City (v juicy), all things Met Gala recap (including the Marilyn Monroe dress sitch), and a heated debate about the Kardashians’ business acumen. Tune in for the opposing POVs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sami and Aleen are here to hold down the fort, while Jordana’s on the struggle bus. No literally, as we speak Jordana’s on the Pizza Hut Struggle Bus doing a live U Up? show with co-host Jared Freid—tune in for more info. And across the pond, the royals are on a more metaphorical struggle bus. Sami’s been reading Tina Brown’s new book, and she spills some royal tea about the monarchy, mistresses, and young Prince William’s antics. They then debrief the Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis custody sitch—Olivia got served custody papers while onstage at Cinemacon—before diving into some other legal matters: Blac Chyna and the Kardashians’ ongoing suit and the Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard saga. The ep comes to a close with some TV talk, and be sure to comment what they should watch next.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices