Drunk Ex-pastors

We begin episode #209 with a voicemail about how to pronounce things from a listener who comes from, ironically enough, Texas. We then hear from another caller who questions our judgment regarding talking about Chloe’s sex life in a public forum (she’s fine with it), after which we revisit the topic of sex and relationships. We visit a Trump rally and debate the issue of making space great again, after which we close with biebers about soccer (no, this one is not Jason’s) and bogus social media platforms.  

Episode #208 of DXP begins with a surprising voicemail during which we receive some important legal information. We then get into the fourth-of-July spirit by discussing the TV show 24 and how Jack Bauer is basically a war criminal who deserved all the tragedy he got. We spend the bulk of the episode talking about sex, and specifically how much detail we want our kids to go into when discussing their private lives with us. Biebers involve women’s dating expectations and the way old people pronounce things.

This episode of DXP begins with a caller doing his best “I can’t quit you” impression from that one gay cowboy movie, after which Jason tells about his near-death experience and the revenge he hopes to exact upon the perpetrator. We discuss the FLILF’s recent wardrobe choice, revisit the Chris Hardwick situation, and then take caller’s question about “paper abortion” which, apparently, is a thing. Biebers involve car fires and sunshine.

Episode #206 of DXP begins with a couple rather odd voicemails, after which we discuss the departure from social media of Kelly Marie Tran after committing the crime of ruining everyone’s childhood. We then address the recent allegations of emotional and sexual abuse against Chris Hardwick by his former girlfriend, Chloe Dykstra. We take a call about whether the Rosanne- and NFL issues are at all similar, after which we hear Trump acting like a dictator. Biebers involve bacon and cheerios.  

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors by discussing rape for some reason. We spend some time addressing the death of Anthony Bourdain, as well as suicide more broadly, tackling issues like mental health, the pressure of celebrity status, and whether we should avoid our sense of emptiness or embrace it. We then talk a bit about the show Vikings (which has Jason puzzled beyond belief). Biebers involve convenient parking and men’s hairstyles.

This episode of DXP begins with a caller asking one of the most flattering questions a Christian could ever hope for. We then relay a story about texting and driving (which apparently is just fine under the right circumstances), after which we discuss Roseanne Barr, Samantha Bee, and Hollywood in general. Our biebers focus on unnecessarily confusing timelines and why being full-figured is a problem for Jason.

We begin DXP #203 with a harrowing tale involving mysterious sounds and eventual death, and then attempt to provide a free tutorial on how to leave a voicemail. We discuss the looming conservative boycott of Netflix over former President Blackenstein’s new deal with the network, and then delve into the frightening world of that one Mexican gang from Honduras that no one’s ever heard of. We address the NFL anthem response and then move on to Biebers involving stupid expressions and winning arguments.

In this episode of DXP we address Fox News’s Jeanine Pirro and her praise of Donald Trump’s moving of the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem, which leads to a discussion about Israel’s recent killing of 60 protesters in Gaza. We tackle the issue of liberal censorship (as in, should Spotify ban artists simply because they pee on their sex slaves?), and then talk about whether people should be fired for praying at work. Biebers involve podcast intros and garbage.

In this episode of DXP we get a congratulatory call from one of our favorite listeners whose question nearly dredges up some angry feelings. We reveal how irritable Jason is and how sensitive to this Christian is. We revisit our so-called fat-shaming from last episode, and take another call about why God only gets the credit for good things that happen without ever getting blamed for the bad. Biebers involve parking garages and chores. Also, if Gun & Roses ever needs to replace Axl, Jason is ready to go.

Can you believe we’ve done 200 of these things? In this episode we look back at how our lives have changed in the four years since we began this crazy project, as well as look ahead to determine just how long we can keep this thing going. We discuss whether comics get a pass for being politically incorrect, as well as break down a study that suggests that what you’re prejudiced against indicates how smart you are. But in all honesty, after doing an extra celebratory shot of Patron it’s all kind of a blur.

Episode #199 of Drunk Ex-Pastors explores the issue of why, when discussing Hollywood’s “liberal elite,” we are told that celebrities are idiots and their political opinions should be discounted, but then conservatives will cream themselves over Kanye West and Ted Nugent. We talk about the recent revelations concerning Sean Hannity, and end the show with biebers about spreadsheets and windshields.

Episode #198 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with the opening of a listener’s gift (one guess what it contains), after which we offer our final comments (we promise) about the whole rocks-in-the-classroom idea. It’s not our fault, we swear—You people keep bringing it up. We hear a voicemail from a listener who is in distress about the state of his soul, which occasions a lengthy therapy session about the issue of crucifying the god who hates us. Biebers involve waist size and getting shot.

DXP #197 delves into some heavy territory. After yet another caller challenges our proposal to arm schoolchildren with rocks we discuss death and whether we are personally and professionally ready for it. We “pre-brief” a bit about our upcoming interview with scholar Bart Ehrman, leading to a discussion about (if Jesus never rose from the dead) what exactly happened to precipitate the emergence and eventual empire-wide conquest of Christianity. Biebers involve email chains and the apocalypse.

Episode #196 of DXP begins with Christian being challenged about his Old-Testament solution to school shootings as well as his douchey vacuuming practices. We then turn our attention to ‘80s icon Molly Ringwald’s recent piece in the New Yorker in which she revisits her prior films in the light of the #MeToo movement (turns out they’re fine). We discuss NRA member Ted Nugent’s recent remarks about the Parkland students’ protests, and biebers involve food ratios and servers who need to speak up.

On DXP #195 we debrief together about the state of Christian’s new heart (what is A-Fib anyway? Can’t be too serious, right?). We also discuss the issue of community, and whether it is possible to truly have one in a post-church setting (we’re pretty sure the Elks Club isn’t taking new members). Our “Feeding Friendsy” segment reveals that there’s such a thing as a Triple Strawman, and biebers involve Costco and stupid kids these days.

DXP returns this week, and turns out we have a crap-ton of voicemails stacked up. We take calls (without having screened them first) about topics like why we’re so cold all the time, whether people are psychopaths by nature or through nurture, and what divine comfort really looks like. Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” segment returns, which causes Jason to discover that he “has no problem with Hitler.” Biebers involve Family Ties and public transport etiquette.

This week’s episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors will take you on a walk down Memory Lane as we revisit a handful of our earliest biebers. Tune in and be reminded how annoyed we get at everything from football to death, progress to banks. And anyone remember that we used to violate all kinds of copyright laws with our musical outros?

Episode #192 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voicemail from someone presuming to challenge Christian’s desire to go to prison, after which the conversation takes what Jason feels is a quite disturbing turn. We discuss Jackie Chan for some reason, and then take a call about the challenge of applying religion to child-raising. We quench the Holy Spirit by mocking certain types of miracles, and then get into a discussion about Hollywood, the Oscars, and race. Biebers involve Alexa and dead people.

Episode #191 of DXP begins with a solemn reminder of the death of an American icon, after which we give some advice concerning movie trailer protocol. We defend our position on comic book films, chat briefly about Christian’s obsession with guns, and then answer a question about whether God is a factor for us in overcoming difficulty and trauma. Biebers involve stacks of cash and whether Jason’s girlfriend should leave him for Ryan Gosling (she totally should).

Episode #190 of DXP begins with a call to prayer for Jesus’ servant, President Trump. We discuss the intrepid Florida legislature’s recent gun-control measures (oops, we mean porn-control measures), after which we dig deep into the minds of flat-earthers and other conspiracy theorists. Christian reinforces Jason’s biases against Black Panther, and biebers involve outdated tools and junk mail. Also, one of us is now either gay or merely attracted to men.