Nursing And Cursing

This week we are talking about the tech we can’t live without. We use one app to get around, one to shop, another to shop, one to budget, one to sleep, one to get odd jobs done, one to shop, one to make friends, one to stalk friends, one to shop, and then one to sleep cuz wow all that convenience was stressful af. And so many fails!

There are just not enough hours in the day for family, career, rest, relaxation, a 5mile run, hobbies, health, a spin on the stationary bike, therapy, surfing, a chiropractic adjustment, the game, a hot shower, a smoothie, and a score at an estate sale. Unless...unless you’re our husbands. This week we are talking about husband self care. How do these wizards conjure the time for all this guiltless self care?? Hint: what we ask and plan for, they take without hesitation. So which one of us is blowing it , really!? Plus join us for Manners Camp! Molly has the mind game you need to play alllll summer!

Join us for a ride in our disgusting, trashed, vomit-stained, goldfish dust, coffee -cup car nightmares. This week we are talking about our cars after kids. Just like our bodies, our brains, our houses, and our sanity: they’re garbage now. We may be the ones behind the wheel, but these kids are driving us f*ckin crazy. And Sarah fills us in on how Wednesday is doing. We know you’re on the edge of your juice-stained seats.

Work, kids, partners, parties, school plays, sports, PTA, recitals, field trips, how much more can you fit on your plate mama? Do you ever say no when you know you just can’t?? Or just can’t even? This week we talk about the awesome power of the hard pass. Because saying no to something that stresses you out is really just saying yes to your own sanity. And Kate drops a fail that will change your life. No really, we still haven’t processed this one.

Happy Mother’s Day to our friends, listeners, and fellow mamas. We love you, we need you, and being in this tribe with you is our sincere joy. We will be back with you next week, but in the meantime, enjoy our most popular Mother’s Day ep.  What does the perfect Mother’s Day look like for you? Are you sleeping in? Eating out? Hopping a private jet for Alabama and watching Dawson’s Creek reruns? Who loves and cherishes you and can plan the perfect day for you??? No, not him. Nope, not them either. YOUR BFFS OF COURSE. This episode we play a lil game of “Secret Mama,” and take turns planning and imagining the perfect Mother’s Day for each other. Happy Mother’s Day to our Momrades in Arms. We love ya.

Hey guys! This week please enjoy our *very first * episode of Nursing and Cursing!!!  An oldie but a goodie. See ya next week with a brand new episode! How did you feel about your partner immediately after bringing that baby into the world? Did you look at him with fresh love or deep, scary, sleep deprived rage? Listen to our tales of post-partum husband hatred, one of the most important mommy milestones. Don’t worry, all the husbands survived to live another day, and in some cases, even make another baby.

The parenting podcast that covers more shit than your baby’s full diaper! We are 5 friends with more than 20 years of friendship, a decade of motherhood, and 4 years of recording between us.  After riding the mom rollercoaster for so long, we have shared some incredible highs and some devastating lows.  Check out what makes us so special and please share with any mama who might need a laugh. Duh that’s every mama. Xo

Guys stay with us! This week we are talking about teeth. When it comes to brushing our kids teeth it seems like there are only two options: abuse or neglect. When it comes to our own teeth it seems like there’s only one option: dentures. because we just can’t make it to our regular checkups anymore. Wtf why are teeth so hard.

Hi mamas!!! We got a treat for you! This week is a very special episode : Ali’s tells the story of her first son’s Hawaiian home birth. It’s a beautiful and fascinating story involving long walks, Vince Vaughn movies, wet cats and you guessed it...coconut oil.

Hi Mamas!!! We are back from spring break!!! We went to Senor Frogs, won a wet shirt contest and got some sick new tats. Kidding we hosed our kids off in the yard and did all the screen time and we’re so glad it’s over because we missed you!! This week we answer your burning questions with...more questions. And Chriddys fail redefines the phrase, “Stoney silence.”

Yes, yes it’s wonderful when they first sleep through the night, try solids for the first time, babble mama or take those first wobbly steps. But get real: what are the milestones that really rock your world and make motherhood that much easier? We’re talking using the remote , putting on their shoes, and the holy grail of milestones : wiping their own asses. Plus kate’s epic fail as a helicopter mom on steroids.

Hey mamas, what kind of birth control are you using? The pill? An IUD? Your baby's screams and your building resentment of your partner? We've tried them all! This week we chat about what's worked for us in the past and what we're relying on now. Plus someone let their kid walk around Disney with no shoes and get sick. GUESS WHO? Rhymes with Dolly.

Ok kids, you want the truth?!? Your artwork sucks, your bedtime story is annoying, if you don’t eat your dinner you won’t actually shrink until you disappear, Santa ain’t real, ditto the Tooth Fairy. Mommy’s phone has plenty of battery but you still can’t watch it, the park is open, but we ain’t going. You need to wear your coat bc I care more about what strangers think of my parenting than your personal preferences, the condom broke, ETC. ETC. See, children? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!! And neither can we, which is why we fib to our kids alll day long. Listen up as we tell the truth about all our lies. UGH!

When I have kids, I’m gonna feed them organic food, read to them every day, make sure they get plenty of creative stimulation and...slam the door in my husbands face, yell at him at the top of my lungs, go passive aggressively silent, exchange nasty texts, and terrorize the kids with our screaming matches SAID NO MOTHER EVER. And yet. Couples fight. And couples with kids have more to fight about than ever bc this shit is STRESSFUL. This week we are coming clean about fighting in front of kids. Our fuckups and our efforts to improve. But plz let the record reflect: he started it.

Guys! What Should I Do? (2nd Edition) : Surprise! The real moms of Nursing & Cursing don’t know what the eff they’re doing!

V-Day Special! Who let the Dads out?!!? WHOOP WHOOP (its a dad joke, get it?) This week we have some verrrryyy special guests: OUR HUSBANDS! Join us as we discuss what they miss about their pre-baby lives n wives and we ask them the hard hitting questions like: wtf even is wrong with you?!?!?  Listen as they come clean with their #nails and #fails. Leave a comment and let us know if we should ask for joint custody for Valentine's Day. omg KIDDING!

Extracurriculars, enrichment activities, after school. Whatever you call it, it equals more time and more money. And more signing them up and more dropping them off and more picking them back up and more more MORE. So why do we do it, why do we do music classes and gymnastics and swimming and soccer and a bunch of other extra shit? Is it mom guilt, pressure to keep up, or is it possible one of us is raising the next musical prodigy and just one more piano lesson  and his talent will be obvious?!? Plus Molly’s got another gross or fail. DUH.

Finally , our episode on nursing :  from the toe-curling first days, to the emotional clusterfuck of weaning. Did you find nursing to be a pleasure or a pain, or something harder to explain (why does that sound like a Seal song?) Join us as we hand express our nursing highs and lows. Listen up and wean in.

Hey mamas!  Take a break from trying to figure out if those sweat pants spark joy (duh! They do!) and join us as we talk about housework. How much do you do? The bare minimum or do you like a spotless space?  Do you stay on top of it, or let things get really bad before you tackle it? Anyone else help out around the house ? Ugh. Would you rather fold and put away a load of laundry every day or give a blow job every day. Why is that so hard to answer. Plus some really gross fails!!

Here’s a new podcast for you: as new parents, comedians Josie and Jonny bring their humor and genuine curiosity into each conversation to get answers to questions they’re completely clueless about. Each episode of their podcast, Josie & Jonny are Having a Baby, features creators of all types talking candidly about what it means to raise a baby into a full on adult human. Check it out in Apple Podcasts: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/josie-jonny-are-having-a-baby-with-you/id1447700274?mt=2