A Conversation With Gangaji

“The more you are willing to face the helplessness of being human, the more being human is not the problem.” When we step onto the spiritual path, often we hope to transcend our fears. Our fear of death and loss can drive a lack of compassion and perpetuate our unnecessary suffering. Gangaji encourages us to meet our fear, not avoid it. In a moment of giving up control and simply being undeniably flawed, mortal, and very human, we can rest in the peace of who we are.

The sacred hunger for truth, for God, for love, for peace, for freedom is the force calling us home. This deep longing doesn’t leave us alone. It persists even with a lifetime of disillusionments or “unfulfilled promises.” No matter what spiritual path we have taken or not taken, Gangaji offers all this encouragement: “Let this hunger for Truth have you. It is a glorious feast, and it is time to stop circling the table. You have a place at this feast.”  

At its root the desire for control is an infantile thought: “What I want is what I should have.” We do have a limited capacity to control many things within our life circumstances, our relationships, or our emotions. But when we try to control what cannot be controlled, we suffer and cause others to suffer. On this podcast, Gangaji speaks to what that moment of letting go of control really is and what it reveals. She shares it “is the opportunity to realize what doesn't need to be controlled to be free, to be happy, to recognize itself.”

Many take a spiritual path in life with a sincere desire to contribute to the well-being of all sentient beings. In this month’s episode of Being Yourself, a young man asks, “How can I cultivate the heart of a Bodhisattva?” Gangaji speaks to how we can be true to the Bodhisattva heart in the face of our human, cultural, and spiritual conditioning.  

We naturally value self-reliance and independence especially in Western culture. Considering our personal survival, the desire to not be dependent on others makes sense, but is it real? In this podcast, Gangaji helps us discover the self we can truly rely on and the self-love that is revealed in that discovery.   “I would like to share with you exactly what I mean when I say self-reliant and how essential it is that you be completely, absolutely, totally self-reliant. First, you have to know what “self” means.”  

 As the new year approaches, we can to shift our focus from what we think we need to fix, and give our full attention to what is already whole and perfect. In this podcast, Gangaji speaks of the catalyst for a deeper awakening—the willingness to “unlearn” and open to what is fresh, alive, and who you are. Not a concept or memory of who you are, but as a true, living freshness. Also: We share a song in tribute to Amber Terrell.

On the spiritual search we often ask, “What do I have to do?” to find resolution and fulfillment. We look for “masters” of spirituality and enlightenment who we hope will tell us how to behave or will direct us in practices  necessary for true happiness. Gangaji makes clear that true resolution can be discovered when you set aside your cosmologies, theologies, and formulas for that which is much, much closer— the truth of who you are.  

Since 1990, Gangaji has shared Papaji’s invitation to call off the search. This essential teaching serves our conscious discovery of who we truly are and is profoundly relevant to living our daily lives. In this recording, Gangaji shares a teaching story, written by a sangha member, that is relatable and true. What is discovered when we are willing to completely call off the search and simply let ourselves be found?  

“Our minds can be agitated and we can still be aware of what is at peace, regardless of circumstances.”   Gangaji speaks to the maturity needed when we are confronted with significant life challenges.  It is absolutely possible to live our lives fully as Peace and as human beings with choices. In the midst of the challenges, we may find ourselves in individually and collectively, what is our response? Will we contribute to the “collective angst” or dive ever more deeply, and consciously, into the peace that is always present.

“Finally, integrity means honesty. But honesty is a moving target because of our conditioning. We have to be willing to be humbled in the recognition that what we perceived as being honest or truthful was revealed to be just a conditioned “version" of truth.”   When we recognize what we have long overlooked or denied, we can have one of the most valuable experiences a human being can have: to be humbled. In this podcast, Gangaji speaks about the natural integrity and vigilance revealed when we are truly willing to be humbled.  

This month our conversation on the subject of racism continues. Taking us more deeply to the underlying fear that is the source of racism, Gangaji speaks about the fear of death and the fear of our own and others’ freedom. Recalling her early life in Mississippi, she shares the moment when her racist conditioning was first challenged and how that awakening set her on the path to discovering true freedom.    

This month Gangaji sits down for an interview on the subject of racism. Gangaji grew up in Mississippi, raised a white southern girl in the segregated town of Clarksdale. In this interview, she speaks about how her own racist conditioning first began to be dismantled. She invites us not only to meet the cruelty and wrongs of the past 400 years, but also to meet the internal system of racism within our own minds today. Part One of this interview covers the human patterns of denial, seeking power for survival, meeting the fear that perpetuates racism, and the possibility of serving true freedom for all beings everywhere.   

In this historic moment, white people have an opportunity to redress the long, cruel legacy of racism in America. Author Ibram X. Kendi said, “The history of racism is a history of denial.” So that is where we begin with this episode: the resolve to end denial and face hard truths. In this recording from 1998, Gangaji recounts an article about Bishop Desmond Tutu. His commitment to truth and reconciliation in South Africa serves as inspiration to all.   “When you are seeking nothing but truth, and in that seeking you are willing to see everything then closure is by-product. Peace is revealed, harmony is revealed, to be your own self.”—Gangaji

What is revealed when we stay conscious in the midst of great upheaval? When we are willing to inquire with an open mind, we can move beyond simply coping with disaster and discover a life changing truth untouched by any loss. Recorded in March of 2011 following a devastating earthquake and tsunami in Japan, this monologue is relevant to the times we find ourselves in now, confronting a worldwide pandemic. “In our sophistication as human life forms, in our worldliness, in our psychological astuteness, in our pursuit of happiness, we too often lose the direct experience of the boundlessness of love that is life.”

Mistakenly, we define who we are by the roles we play in the theater we call our lives. Then we further define ourselves with our evaluations of how well or how poorly we play those roles. When Gangaji first met Papaji, he told her to stop everything. In her willingness to stop everything and just be, Gangaji saw past the roles (mother, daughter, spiritual seeker, wife, student) and recognized her true face. It is possible for all of us to recognize our true face—the truth of who we are. Then every role we are given can be played fully and authentically. We can live freely, resting in the truth of who we are.  

“When fear is experienced as energy, as feelings, without a story attached to it, without thoughts defining it, when it is not fought or made war with, what is it? What is it in your experience?” Together we are facing a global pandemic. It is something none of us has ever faced, something that is truly unknown. Naturally fear arises in uncertainty, fear that can lead to panic. How can we meet this moment with our natural intelligence? With the willingness to investigate, to open to the fear we may be experiencing, we can discover what is at the core of fear, what is at the core of what isn’t wanted or desired. In opening to fear, you open to yourself, you open to “what is in the heart of the heart.” Selected from a live online meeting Gangaji held on March 22, 2020, Gangaji responds to questions about the pandemic and guides us in an inquiry.

“Thank God you haven’t been able to escape the dissatisfaction with life as it is prescribed.”—Gangaji When we are filled with doubt and overwhelm, and all seems to be falling apart, there is the potential through self-inquiry to discover home. This enlivening exchange with Gangaji, recorded in Santa Fe in 1998, demonstrates how in our willingness to fall apart, we ultimately see what falls away and what remains—the home that is real. 

Is your inner critic running your life? The inner critic tells us how we are not enough, how we should be more, how we should be better than we think we are. Thinking about what is wrong with us can eat up our lives and ultimately distracts us from the essential truth. In this episode of Being Yourself, Gangaji demonstrates how to confront the inner-critic without judgment, and finally end the war between ego and superego.

Where is your attention? Our minds are designed to recognize what is “wrong” and needs fixing. This aspect of our ego serves our survival as human animals. There is nothing wrong with this aspect of our ego, but if we only look for what is wrong and neglect to honor what is already whole and free, then we suffer unnecessarily. Wherever you find yourself, you can take this moment to shift your attention to what is right: the wonder of existence itself. 

"The door is open." How can you discover freedom and peace exactly where you are right now, in your current circumstances, without changing anything? This month, reading a former prisoner’s letter, Gangaji speaks to the egoic prisons we live our lives in, and how it is possible to recognize the door to freedom that is already open.