Little Red Bandwagon

It’s the final Friday of the month, so the gang’s gathered together to make sure we can close the Johnson account with sparkling clean teeth. First, Mike tells us all about his long-awaited trip back to the Pacific Northwest, including an important lesson he learned about traveling with prosthetics. We dig into a bunch of Throw Your Phone submissions that range from questions about different colors of Twitter, to the rodent-ness of rabbits (and their homicidal tendencies), to the desperate need for the return of the TBTL Science Council, to a delightful fantasy of the LRB coven in action. Then we take a look at all the wonderful, wild, mysterious things you guys have purchased using our Amazon affiliate link: ice makers, dirt bikes, tutus, personal creams (earmuffs, kids!), and lots and lots of turkey stew. Bobby ruins his Amazon search history. Meredith scolds the listeners over some dubious health product purchases. Mike loves infomercials’ “before” footage. Ann just wants a water feature, guys. Important A

It’s the crack of 9am Central, and Hillary (not THIS Hillary), Bobby (not THIS Bobby) and Meredith (not THIS Meredith) have run recklessly back and forth across McGrath Highway in Summahville to bring you this new TBTL Week in Review. (Now with a Soy Option!) Served between piles of take-and-bake pizzas and colorful, untouched crudités platters, we’re really thinking this could be the episode that gets us the chance to sit in the audience at a panel discussion on podcasting. Because if not, we’ve just been sitting in our own juices for eight hours for nothing.

Fueled by lukewarm rosé and cold water from various bottles discussed only briefly in passing (you’re welcome), Bobby, Hillary and Ann are staying up late on Friday to recap the latest week of TBTL. Plus, find out why Bobby is in Worcester, Hillary is in bed, and Ann is clearing her Google image search history. This episode brought to you by Occam’s Razors, the simplest choice in shaving. This week recaps TBTL 2724 (Ferryboat crash with Carey, Mac Miller, Russia Dominos tattoo, Diet Coke, pizza, ranch vs blue cheese, Godfather, FaceTime, NPC), 2725 (twitter, black twitter, water bottle, schlub Chris Hughes flag football, Dr. Death), 2726 (Popeyes, Anne Rice, celery, butter on saltines, CPAP, lobster big thing, Luke’s credit, phishing, William S. Burroughs), 2727 (Rudy fur, Spotless, Kaepernick, CNN eating healthy tailgate), 2728 (Skyjinx, SeaTac, Renton Burger King bathroom, SOTS winner, Luke’s roulette numbers).

Pull your shirt up over your face, hide beneath a blanket, or do whatever it is you need to do to get through this, because it’s time for some embarrassing stories. One of the great things about our TBTL friendos is their willingness on a regular basis to dredge up the most unfortunate and cringeworthy things that have happened to them. Many of these stories have been covered on this podcast already, but Ann and Christy have returned with a new crop of tales about interactions, both small and large, that make us nervous and sweaty while listening (usually while hollering, “Luke, noooooooooo!”). We’ve got an unfortunate trilogy of celebrity interactions - one at a bar, one over email, and one involving … puppets. There’s the time Luke commented on something you should never, ever, EVER address with a woman. And, in our “it wasn’t your fault” segment, Jen tells a story about how she was tripped up by inappropriate tipping practices and a nautically-themed restaurant employee. Oh, and you didn’t think we’d do th

The newly minted LRB coven of Meredith, Hillary, and Ann Come Together in this episode to cast some spells against the Patriarchy, hex the current political power players, and direct our evil eye toward Michael Pollan and Gwyneth Paltrow. (By the by, Luke, we tend to dislike her for reasons other than that she’s “perfect” and has a good relationship with her ex-husband.) It was kind of a rough week of TBTL, so we have a lot to break down, including whether it’s rude to wear earbuds in a ride share, podcasts as exploitative entertainment vs. worthwhile journalism, the pitfalls of complimenting a woman, and the awful business of collegiate athletics. Plus, burgeoning sympathy for Luke’s educational deficiencies, Andrew’s encroaching old man grumpiness, the three most terrifying words in the workplace, and the parenting cycle continues.

This week your LRB hosts are all under the weather in different ways, but we’re soldiering on to bring you the TBTL week in review. We’ve got a plethora of topics, including duplexing tips from Missy Elliott, new fall menu items for McDonalds, and an existential question about whether life is worth living without the noodles. Bobby ran himself into a froggy state (complete with sound effects), Meredith developed a new criterion for Airbnb reviews, while Ann had a very important houseguest. Plus, getting trapped in Canada, how nasal spray is like love, and French dip snobbery. Bonus: it’s the debut of the LRB Poetry Corner!

Bobby, Ann, Hillary, Christy and Mike aren’t sure if Little Red Bandwagon can have a true river show, but they are sure they can successfully be derailed from most of their (admittedly thin) show sheet for this end-of-the-month Friday special by a message from an anonymous listener in the mailbag. On the upshot, we did still read a bunch of listener emails, unlike some shows we know. Plus, queso envy, wide stance jokes, a KIDZ BOP singalong, Michael Winslow-esque sounds from one host’s bo-o-dy, full immunity in Wyoming, housekeeper Christoph Waltz, Bryan Cranston in his tighty-whities, and much, much more. And, we’re all still on Facebook.

Mike, Ann, and Hillary are back at it again with the black Chucks to recap another week of TBTL, and in between our “attaboys” to one other, we’ve got a few things we’d like to discuss. Our TBTL boys are now both off Facebook, and we agree that was probably a good decision. Luke is already rebuilding his karmic imbalance with his Live Wire fibs, and Andrew should either change the show or stop apologizing for it. We have no idea what the hell all this Petey Pablo business is about, but we’re pretty sure it isn’t worth the effort to find out. And in ridiculous business ventures, someone out there is making a mint from the sale of “deodorant crystals.” Plus, Mike’s social life is in full swing, Hillary’s husband can’t take her anywhere, and Ann already deeply regrets engaging in a discussion concerning yambag shaving.

Join the I-35 Crew: The Next Generation of Ann, Mike and Hillary as we start the show with a surprising amount of bra talk, then move on to the week in TBTL. Along with a lively debate over the seminal work of a-ha, we concoct a strategy to get the guys to Larrimah, Australia, sing the praises (sorta) of Billy Joel, and address the appropriate way to discuss suicide and mental health issues in a public forum. In SOTS news, the Tens are apparently voting against Andrew, which kind of makes us happy because we are bad people. Plus, Mike’s pulling a Reverse Belichick, Hillary had a Marcia Brady experience at the ballpark, and Ann practically died at yoga.

It’s getting towards the end of summer, and Meredith, Hillary, Ann and Mike are trying to capitalize on the days we have left. Some of us are reading our Nancy Drews on our bunkbeds at the cabin, while some are bawling our eyes out over in the Documentary Corner ™, but we all made time to check in on our lovable TBTL dummies’ latest shenanigans. Luke came out of the whole boat crash situation about as well as could be expected, which is ever so slightly irritating. The abundance of movie talk over the week leads to conversations about Far and Away-era Tom Cruise, theories about the appeal of Kubrick movies, and assurances that liking The Matrix doesn’t make you one of those creepy men’s rights dudes. And we agree that nobody needs a wiener (of any kind) on their clothing. Plus, Mike wants to know if there are actual doctors in Bellingham, Ann is cautiously optimistic over how Song of the Fall is shaping up, and Hillary’s ready to start her retirement fantasy life of playing nickel slots at the casino. Oh, and

Our TBTL friendos spend a lot of time talking about their daily lives, so it’s no surprise that their animals are part of the fabric of the show. But what about the furry friends who came before? Ann and Christy decide it’s high time to take a look back at two TBTL pets of yesteryear: Luke’s cat Pagoda and dog MoMo. We debate whether Pagoda’s dignity is eroded by being forced to use the toilet and then listen to Luke abandon his dignity when he chooses not to. MoMo has some issues (and an affinity for a specific piece of floor covering). Luke is apparently less scary than a Mexican floor installer, but only slightly. As far as our own animals go, Christy has a pet history littered with tragedy, while Ann “trained” an amazing circus hamster. Then we spend way too much time talking about the Empire Today carpet guy and the new computer-generated Peanuts characters. Plus, the eternal wisdom of Bonnie Raitt.

Pontiac Bobby, Subaru Meredith and  Camaro Mike (or is that Camero Meke?)  recap the last two weeks of TBTL Car Talk episodes with approximately the same level of effort and care Luke and Andrew (and Kevin and Genevieve) put into them. Plus, find out why Bobby used to burn through D batteries, Mike missed his senior yearbook picture, and Meredith (apparently) haaaaaad to suck on a tube in an old Mercedes. (Don’t Google it.) Oh, and Bobby bought a house.

It’s a special episode of the show as the Little Red Bandwagon (minus Mike) is hanging out in the disgusting, ugly, dumb city of Seattle. After a fun evening with the Wagoneers at Gas Works Park, we’re spending the next day at the lake, and manage to squeeze in a quick debrief of all the fun. Then we go along with the ladies on their Singles tour around the city, which includes conversation about music, Matt Dillon’s fashion, and movie trivia, plus a little light stalking. Additionally, there’s boat cake, pickle talk, and a visit from a surprise guest.

On this Final Friday in July, Hillary, Christy, and Ann are getting together to sort through the mailbag, talk about potential Burbank boat names, and discuss a few of our most memorable summer vacations. Some quality Throw Your Phone™ entries from the Wagoneers get us thinking about how Mike has ruined things, planning to ambush Luke with a syringe (it’s for his own good! And listener Scott’s sanity!), and dabbling in unfortunate accents. In vacation talk, Hillary’s semi-wild teenage cruise leaves us questioning her claim of being a goody-goody, Christy has more vacation horror stories than any one person should have, and Ann explains why she hates the Badlands of South Dakota. In camp experiences, one of us lived a teen girl's dream, one of us yearned for something that was not to be, and one of us depended on MTV for her summer entertainment. Plus, a new purpose for some of our Amazon purchase kickbacks, and some very important news about Tate Donovan. Repeat after me: “Charge it to the room.”

Unlike Luke’s boat, Hillary, Bobby, Ann and Mike are firing on all cylinders, and are ready to co-captain a two-hour pleasure cruise through the latest week of TBTL. Because this week, we are all Jerrys. (The only person happier than us is probably Kevin O’Brien.) Plus, Mike tells his Credit Card Debt Silver Lining Alert™, Ann shares her recent kitchen scare (don’t worry, the cookies for the picnic are OK), Hillary seems a little too happy to be down a kid for the week, and Bobby channels a hybrid of Phyllis Fletcher and Rap Master Maurice. Some additional notes: COME TO THE PICNIC on Friday! Check out this chiropractor commercial by Rhett & Link if you can handle the pops and cracks. Check out Crime Writers On for actual discussion of the S-Town lawsuit Check out Hit Parade because it’s awesome We love you, Kathleen!

Hey, we know you’re busy looking for your new barndominium, but take a break and check in with the LRB crew as we run through the previous week’s TBTL content, thin though it may be. Topics for discussion include sneeze hypocrisy and the perils of living with a sleep scream sneezer, Starship-related PTSD, alcohol-related reasons to go to Canada, documentaries that will make you cry, and some strong anti-consumerist sentiment. Plus, Hillary used the patriarchy to her advantage when (maybe?) buying a car, Meredith is getting a visit from the Dog Fairy, and Mike says it’s okay to be an asshole, as long as you’re entertaining.

On this special shameless crossover episode, join our friends Amy and Mitchell from Earbuds and Earworms on a musical exploration of YOUR listener-submitted summer songs! (And don’t forget to subscribe to E&E, because they do cool stuff like this every single week.) While you’re listening, go check out the new shirt (and mug!) designed by Josh Knisely—husband of Phyllis, father of Gus, social media hero of many—in our merch store. Wearing it (or drinking from it) will most certainly make you the toast of Valley Center, Ohio.

It’s Independence week, and the ladies of LRB are over here just chillin’. We’ve got some decisions to finalize before we gather in Seattle in a few weeks’ time, including the look of the costumes for our upcoming quidditch match at Gas Works Park, and the plan for our Singles tour of Seattle. In this week’s recap of TBTL, we come up with some tips for minimizing on-air allergy noises, figure out how we can qualify for disabled parking placards, and realize why so many breakfast cereals have undergone name changes in the years since our childhoods. Additionally, we discuss ballpark patriotism, how “it’s better than it sounds” is never a ringing endorsement, and how it can be that Paul Rudd is not a “weird, cat-faced monster.” Oh, and Luke? We love you, but keep your dog on a leash.

Neither heat nor illness nor live show jealousy stays Bobby, Ann and Meredith from recapping the latest week of TBTL—in part with a little help from LRB Southern Events Correspondent and Earbuds and Earworms host Amy Sheppard. If you’d like a snack for the journey but you’re on your post-adventure grind, you can either nab a bag of Protes from the GNC down at the intersection of Vanity and Insecurity, or you can just order some Beanitos from this shamelessly blatant Amazon referral link that nets us some of Jeff Bezos’ pennies with every order. (We keep them in extra Middle-Aged Mom-ish Ten mugs.) If either of them asks for your number, just remember, they don’t really care: It’s Leg Day.

Roll down your windows and crank up the volume, because this very special episode of Little Red Bandwagon featuring some of our all-time favorite “club bangers” is the perfect soundtrack for a leisurely cruise down Highway 694. (Maybe just turn it back down a bit for Mike’s stories, especially if you hit traffic.) Plus, we take a quick dip in the LRB Mailbag. Remember, we want to hear YOUR summer songs, too! Send them over to our friends at Earbuds and Earworms on Twitter, Facebook, email or voicemail (731-234-5578) for their upcoming show featuring your submissions. (And if you aren’t already subscribed to E&E, what are you doing with your life?! Amy and Mitchell are crushing it weekly.) For full tracks of the songs featured on this episode, check out our Spotify playlist. (We’ll add your songs submitted to E&E next week!) That should tide you over until the TBTL Song of the Summer contest, or the pilot episode of Phrends—whichever comes first.