Technically Correct

How’s the weather in Yountville this time of year? This week: washing dishes is as easy as 1-2-3, picking an espresso machine for all of you but mostly me, and home audio upgrades for boomier Bublé around the Christmas tree.

Capitalism is a fickle beast. Sure it’s why a health emergency can bankrupt a family, but sometimes Apple will only charge you 6x what something should cost instead of 12. So there’s that. This week: beefy camera bumps, mid-Atlantic coffee chain merch, and your hosts’ surprisingly diametrically opposed takes on Apple’s new app store commission scheme. Email tcook@apple.com to let us know who is right.

It’s time to settle the age old question of the what the correct viewing order is for newcomers to the Star Wars films. The definitive answer is: Episode 4, Episode 5, The Lion King because Han Solo played Mufasa, the Clone Wars, the one with BB-8 bein’ all cute, and then maybe the one where Buzz Lightyear had a cameo in it. This week: corporate money in elections, more on Apple TV+’s Theodore Lasso, and an exciting, much overdue product discontinuation.

Quiet week. Certainly there was nothing anyone should have remembered in November. Wait, why is everyone wearing a sticker... This week: seven year old Carlos' pragmatic approach to Halloween, Still or Sparkling with Ted Lasso, and Price is Right rules on wool runner crab t-shirts.

Sometimes on a Sunday in between chores, it’s important to lie down on the couch for a minute to see how the Instagram Corgis are doing. It’s not scandalous, it’s called self care. #normalizesiestas. This week: fancy camera-ing, recycling day market research, and a Disneyland for Tesla drivers except it’s in the Nevada desert to help them test their sketchy af autopilot software.

Variety has off-the-record sources that are totally not us reporting that Oprah and Tom Hanks are in a bidding war to buy the rights to the show for upwards of $220 million. The ball is in your court, Spotify. This week: direct democracy, accidental Kalanick, and Quibi we hardly knew ye.

You have a new memory! "Existential dread for American democracy through the years." Would you like to continue receiving those notifications? "No, thanks." This week: yurt living in rural Idaho, buying wine at a MittMo in Utah, and a speed run through the October Apple event.

The NBA already has a history of theme nights to try to diversify viewership: your throwback nights, your Noches Éne-Bé-A. But why not try to make politicians feel special too? Picture it. The Miami Marco Rubios. The New York DeBlasios. And our personal fave, the Golden State Newsoms. This week: debates, services bundles, and one YouTuber's origin story. ☕️.

How to properly eat an ice cream sandwich: Step 1: grab a steak knife and fork Step 2: unwrap your preferred sugar sandwich Step 3: slice into bite-sized triangles Step 4: lather, rinse, repeat This week: enhanced self-cash grab, regional food slang, and a preview of Solo Loop: An Apple Watch Story. Beep boop.

In another major bust for US Customs and Border Protection, agents at SFO seized an app labeled "Instagram" that appears to just be an unconvincing counterfeit of TikTok and Snapchat. This week: Little Free Libraries, fruit company news, and the grossest corporate food brand crossover to date (and yes we're aware of that KFC Cheeto sandwich).

Retail may be dying, but that's not stopping IKEA from opening up urban concept store downtown. Perhaps that's why Herb Caen always lovingly referred to San Francisco as Jokkmokk-by-the-Bay. This week: an update on Epic Games' $257,000,000 free ride, Consumer Reports gives Tesla FSD the business, and Peloton doubles down on its pandemic prospects.

Look, it's like Sam Hinkie always said: trust the app review process. Or was that Eddy Cue? Guess we'll never know — there's no possible way of looking it up. This week: Hue light seances, mixologist plumbers, and a double dose of Still or Sparkling (with a PSL cameo).

The NFL is planning to come back this fall with 20% of usual stadium capacity. Risky and dumb? Sure. But the real loser here is Bill Belichick. Cheating is probably way trickier and easier to catch in a socially distanced arena. This week: air purifiers, Roomba goes back to school and smartens up, and mulling over Phil Schiller’s scorched earth App Store IAP legacy.

Gen Z is doomed for several reasons. Recessions, the pandemic, the 116th Congress. The biggest, however, is that they never developed the work ethic shaped by blowing on NES cartridges and reinstalling Windows 98 every three months. This week: symmetrical bandwidth, weather patterns, and the fruit company that kept looking a regulation horse in the mouth.

With movie theaters on ice for the next 12 to 96 months, top-tier first run movie releases at home will become more common. Word is the next Apple TV may have a FasTrak Flex strapped to it to identify how many viewers to charge you for. Eddy Cue will be making houses calls to check if you're being truthful. No fudging. This week: fitted sheets, silo design critiques, and the last of the Intel Macs.

Sure, the Seattle Kraken brand identity is pretty great, but it feels like it's for a different time. What's a more honest mythological thing to name a hockey team in 2020? May we humbly suggest the King County Sisyphus-es? Oh no. Looks like the rock is rolling back down the hill again... This week: brisket and ribs, self-emptying Roombas, and the makings of the longest shortest baseball season. ⚾️.

Alaska summers mean it's light out for more than 19 hours a day, an 80/20 split. How'd the bears in Katmai swing a better deal with the sun than developers have with Tim Apple? This week: a new season of Cereal, the bubble bounces forward, and premium pods in lean listening times.

Like Strunk and White said a hundred years ago: two exclamation points is kind, just one is super passive aggressive. Also, Cc-ing the recipient's boss to light a fire is a so two thousand and late. This week: pandemic sports chat, purportedly popular movies, and the

We’ve been wondering. Just how does a “bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, eventually grow up to be a hero and a scholar”? Someone should do a deep dive on the subject, write a book about it, and then have it adapted into a musical. This week: mouse swears, Zoom room critiques, and an unprecedented live-to-tape taste test.

A modest proposal: turn all soon-to-be defunct Microsoft Stores into socially distanced, open-air Spindrift® tasting rooms. Or perhaps when enclosed spaces are permissible again, an accounting pop-up to help you understand why your nine different skinny bundles total more than your car payment. This week: softball interviews, frothing teasers, and conservation considerations when charging for chargers.