Technically Correct

“Dear Mr. Hanks, As you know, our Client owns all intellectual property rights globally in and to the concept of “your body breaking down and becoming a slow healing, creaky pile of mush after the age of 28.” Your blatant alteration and repurposing of this concept in the media constitutes unauthorized use and dilution of our Client’s prior art. We immediately demand you cease and desist all future activity related to conveying a specific date as to when aging really hits you like a ton of bricks. Or give us some of that Forest Gump money.” This week: make it a Blockbuster night.

Kinda nice of Apple to spend the week before the election giving us all little bite size Mac updates as a distraction. Wait, new notification hold on. From the NYT: “Here’s why the Mac mini power button is bad news for Harris amongst undecided voters.” ffs. This week: cracklin’ lattes, Excel productivity, and defunct startups. ☕

How long until we have the Chipotle Burrito Assembly Line by Fisher Price® on every five year old’s Christmas list i mean really now. This week: Bay Area childless dog man parenting corner, EV door handles as a troubling metaphor, and Ryan backslides into his dangerous case-free lifestyle.

The kids want media that’s quicker, more concise, and timely. That’s why we’re introducing the podcast equivalent of baseball’s pitch clock: “one quick thought”. Judging by the episode length, it’s a work in progress. This week: spiced is the new spiked, freemium is the new spon-con, and brining some Barlow energy to Waterloo.

Two great tastes that taste great together, or a sign of a nation on the decline? The proof is in the faux-crème filling. This week: Steve Ballmer wants your face, Tim Cook wants your money, and Mela wants your recipes.

Half of this pod is now just stanning for future Cy Young award paw-cipiant Decoy Ohtani. The other host is uh, not a fan. This week: everyone’s now all caught up on The Bear, Jim Farley personally cancels development of Ryan’s future car, and your perfunctory Apple event speculation.

While the official gold medal count for Team USA sits at 40, let’s make it 41 since Peacock stuck the landing. This week: Double Stuf collabs, Diners Target Drive Ups and Dives, and the triumphant return of Still or Sparkling.

Behind every world class athlete is that friend who starts an Apple Watch workout during boozy brunch. Olympians each in their own right. This week: Peacock-ing, spritzing, and legacy purchasing.

We’re back from summer break. What’d we miss? This week: made-up holidays, political realities, and knowing when to walk away.

“Siri, use Apple Intelligence to make this episode sound 30% more erudite.” “Here’s what I found on the web for Eurovision...” Worth a shot… This week: chocolate flavored sandwich cookies with creme filing, spendy so-so automobiles, and sure — Apple’s take on AI.

Honestly at this point all the ‘will they won’t they’ between Adam Silver and his media partners has gone on about almost as long as Jim and Pam and we do not have the same attention span we did in 2008, b-ball guy. This week: Rent-A-Hue®, more Sonos haterade, and a preview of Tim’s developer symposium.

The first restaurant in California to be fined over the new surcharge and fee ban? Surprisingly, it’s Ryan’s new Detroit Style Pizza Parlor and Play Place. What even is a “Marin County smart lighting surcharge”? This week: Barkley v. Zaz, Carlos’ continuing dedication to making big mistakes, and Sonos’ courageous app update.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: it’s our most powerful iPad ever, and we just can’t wait to see what you do with it. This week: Adam Silver pulls an Equator, cookie cocktails, and 94123 it’s all about me.

Do bad reviews kill good products? For the love of God please don’t test that hypothesis out on this show. This week: the capitalist haunted house that is TurboTax, conical burrs, and proof one of your hosts is out of touch with the common philatelist.

Fun fact! More people decide to build a cabin off the grid after using Google Nest products than successfully get it working with the rest of their smart home. This week: Amazon walks out on Just Walk Out, pouring one out for Logitech Harmony, and the doom loop narrative comes for EVs.

Yeah, I mean it’s not too much of a stretch that automakers are selling your data and snitching on speeding to your insurer, but sending a report to Lin Manuel Miranda about how off key I sing “It’s Quiet Uptown” is a bridge too far. This week: EV surprises, NAS surprises, with a dash of regulatory scrutiny surprises via one Merrick Garland.

We know it’s been a while since Econ 201 but Jiminy Christmas are Hue bulbs the new Veblen good? What are these things made out of avocado toast? Come on. This week: dust covered Vision Pros, NACS snaccs, and a peppering of Spring Apple news.

We didn’t get a ballot but that ain’t stopping us. A fruit company year in review. This week: hi Barbie, football (the non-Messi one), and a bit more on VR.

New ways to watch sports from ESPN, Fox, and Warner Brothers. All without a cable subscription. Sports from ESPN. FOX. Warner Brothers. Are you getting it? These are not three separate services. This is one device, and we’re calling it - Iger-ulu. This week: plug in hybrids, old movies, and an update on the Chicago food scene.

Chris Nolan gets roasted by Peloton instructors and Soulcycle stays mum on Wes Anderson making the same movie over and over again for three decades. Hmm. This week: cursed airports, (smart) locks of love, and area Cinnabon manager snubbed for the umpteenth time by the Emmys.