Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, And Kink With Dawn Serra

This week's episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Listeners get $30 off their first month of therapy with coupon code SGR, so check it out and spread the word to support the show. Don't forget: Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Bridget Phetasy, Playboy's advice columnist on sex and relationships, is here to talk about her controversial article about orgasmic meditation. We talk about cults, praying on people's sexual shame, boundaries, consent, and the importance of trusting those little feelings that tell you something isn't right even if you desperately want to ignore them. Read Bridget's article over on Playboy to get the full scoop. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episode Bridget mentions the clit cult article, which is this piece by Refinery29. About Bridget Phetasy When

This week's episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Listeners get $30 off their first month of therapy with coupon code SGR, so check it out and spread the word to support the show. Don't forget: Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Curious about what has Dylan been up to? What's changed in her life? BIG THINGS, but only Patreon supporters will hear the juiciest of juicy details. Dawn talks about moving to Vancouver and watching the latest Four Chambers porn by Vex Ashley while having house guests. Then we field listener questions on nun and priest fetishes, how to eat pussy like a champ (again), and we rage over stealthing - because it's just not OK ever. You can hear round one of Dylan's oral sex tips way back on episode 5, but this is the new updated version after Dylan's latest adventures in pussy eating. Also, yay for the smell of pussy. Follow Sex Gets Rea

This week's episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Listeners get $30 off their first month of therapy with coupon code SGR, so check it out and spread the word to support the show. This week's episode is very special to me. I want to thank all of the brave souls who responded to my call for abortion stories. To read their powerful words, visit sexgetsreal.com/ep162. In fact, start there before you dive into this chat with Carol Sanger about her new book, "About Abortion: Terminating Pregnancy in 21st Century America". Abortion can be a ridiculously charged topic in the United States, which is unique among countries with legal abortion. Carol's book is a fascinating and dare I say fun look into the legislation, the imagery, how technology has impacted the conversation, and more than anything focuses on what happens when people in marginalized positions are forced to choose secrecy over privacy. We tie abortion to sex work, kink, polyamory, HIV/AIDS, and of course, to the larger oppressive systems at play in o

Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast I am constantly on the lookout for people who are doing amazing, inspiring, fun things in the world of sex and relationships. So, you just know I had to reach out to Feminist Press when I saw they were publishing a children's book with the title, "Tell Me About Sex, Grandma." And what better time to celebrate kids and parenting and sex and divorce and healing than Mother's Day? Anastasia Higginbotham is the author of a series of books called Ordinary Terrible Things aimed at helping kids to understand and find words for things like sex, divorce, death, racism, and queerness. Anastasia's books are about centering kids' wisdom and giving them space to have a full range of feelings and permission to be who they are. But the magic of these books is also in their healing power for grown-ups. If you were raped or molested, "Tell Me

This week's episode is brought to you by Talkspace. And listeners get $30 off their first month of therapy with coupon code SGR, so check it out and spread the word to support the show. Don't forget: Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Andre Shakti is BACK! She has a new project called I Am Poly and So Can You, and we go deep into non-monogamy and polyamory this week after geeking out over Erotic Film School. When did Andre figure out she was non-monogamous, what advice does she wishes existed when she was a teenager, and what do you do if you cheated on your wife and now she wants to cheat on you? Well, we talk about allllll of that and more this week. Andre has stellar advice for a couple who are wanting to try a threesome for the first time, and we also get a charming email from R who is in a loving triad but who needs more sex. Poly pressure to have sex is r

Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast This week Jaclyn Friedman is here. Known for her incredible work around sexual assault, sexual violence, consent, and sex education, it is a really intense discussion that I can't wait for you to hear. We talk about sexual liberation and why sex positivity must include conversations around sexual violence if it hopes to achieve it's aim. We dive into stealthing and why removing a condom without consent is rape. Jaclyn explores the ways that stealthing is dehumanizing and why this power move is about erasing the humanity of the person you're sleeping with. She also talks about what centering humanity in sex has meant for her - being able to relax into her truth by getting off the sexual Olympics train. Plus, why all this buzz about hook-up culture on college campuses is actually a myth and the impact that myth is having on stu

Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast NW Mom wrote in with her confession about the mess she's in with a married man. Can she find her way out? She's lonely, she just discovered her sexual pleasure after a 20-year marriage, and yet, this amazing man can't be there for her. He knows it's not easy on her, so ending things shouldn't be a shock for him. Jess wrote in about her improved sex life and the new body safe Fun Factory vibrator she just got. Listening to the show has helped her sex life in fantastic ways and I am tickled. Jenister has a problem. She is bisexual, has anxiety, and wants to explore group sex with her partner. The only problem is she and her boyfriend have had threesomes before to great success. But, she is finding herself feeling super jealous and insecure when they look for potential play partners and she feels terrible. How can she overcome h

Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast I am reading a devastating, lyrical book called "Abandon Me" by Melissa Febos. I'm desperately working to get her on the show soon to talk about her memoir (and her former work as a dominatrix). In the meantime, this week's show is a fun, informative interview with Siouxsie Q. We dive into her work with the Free Speech Coalition combatting harmful anti-porn, anti-sex work laws, including talking about what we can do, as consumers of porn, to help protect workers in the industry. You'll be especially horrified at the new set of laws sweeping the U.S. in the wake of the "porn health crisis" that everyone is freaking out about - with zero evidence, I might add. Then we talk about why porn is her favorite, what her parents think of her adult industry career, and we wrap up our chat fielding some listener questions about polyamory

Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Plus, some news about my personal life. I'm moving to Canada, FINALLY. Also, my Bartholin gland flared up - and I had to take my own advice around new ways to experience sex and touch when intercourse and masturbation were off the table for several weeks. Ugh. Bodies. This week's show features a listener confession from S about a mess she had in her life. We also get an update from Scarlett Grace about telling her friend that she doesn't want to have threesomes with her anymore. Hailey wrote in asking how she can support a friend who was raped but who doesn't want to call it rape and who hasn't asked for support. How can you be a good friend and let someone know you're there for them after sexual assault, trauma, or rape? Let's talk about centering survivors and what that might look like, even if it feels really terrible for

  Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Andrew Gurza is here this week talking all about sex and disability. We geek out over Orphan Black, talk about his hashtag #diSAYbled, dive into body politics and ableism, and explore his experiences with sex and masturbation. It's such a delightful conversation full of giggles and the kind of awkwardness and realness that I adore.  We also talk about hook-up culture and how difficult it can be to communicate around needs and desires, especially for gay men. We explore what it means to be "too much" and also the institutional ableism around insisting that folks with disabilities need a cure. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. About Andrew Gurza Andrew Gurza is a Disability Awareness Consultant and Cripple Content Creator working to make the lived experience of queerness and

If you missed the Explore More Summit, you can still grab all of the talks for as little as $1.20 each plus loads of bonus materials. This weekend I am in San Francisco attending Madison Young's Erotic Film School. I'm learning how to make porn. YAY! If you want to see some of the behind the scenes pictures and videos of Andre Shakti and James Darling, all Patreon supporters at $1 or more will have access. It was fun to be the director and to actually see ethical porn being made in this rich, collaborative space. I also field listener emails this week since I'm on the road. First, a listener wants to share his experience watching trans and pegging porn after Lauren from last week's episode shared her concerns around porn. Then, Mona wants help shopping for some kegel exercisers. What's best? Dawn shares a story of her ben wa balls gone wrong. Scarlett Grace has a friend that she used to play with sexually with her husband, but Scarlett's friend is now super promiscuous and Scarlett doesn't want to have sex w

Reid Mihalko is here this week and our conversation goes deep. We start by geeking out over Reid's latest adventures into anti-oppression work, learning about emotional labor as a cis white guy, and he even tears up over just how important it is for dudes to level up in these spaces, even if it's just 10 or 20%. Then, we dive into listener emails. First, Lauren writes in wanting to know if her recent interest in lesbian porn means her sexual orientation is changing. Is she no longer straight? Jenny needs some advice around polyamory. Her and her partner have discussed it, but Jenny isn't feeling like her needs are getting met and their communication isn't great. Reid's advice around poly is beautiful and gives all of us - in any relationship style - tons to think about. Finally, Riffle needs help navigating a threesome with his fiance. Riffle wants their third to be a stranger, but Riffle's partner wants it to be someone they Reid. Reid, certainly a threesome expert, lets his wisdom shine with some awesome a

I am eyeball deep in the Explore More Summit. Day 5 is unfolding today (March 12th) and you can sign-up for the Explore More Summit here. It's free and goes until March 17th. Anyway, because I'm so busy summitting, today is a hit it and quit it. First, I rant about a new piece of wearable technology that tracks penis thrusts and calories for condom wearers. Or, in other words, it is all about measuring all the wrong things and promotes bad sex - NOT sex that is about pleasure and communication. So terrible and frustrating. Then, I share a listener confession about being raped and healing from that rape with an erotic dream. If you're a survivor, be gentle with yourself around this story. The final question is from a young listener about being in a new relationship and feeling too excited to sleep. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra Sex is a social skill. I speak it. I write it. I teach it. I help you learn how to develop it. I am the creato

It's a very special episode this week because you are getting to hear exclusive, never before heard clips from nine of the Explore More Summit talks. You'll hear from Tristan Taormino, Allison Moon, Virgie Tovar, Melissa Toler, Dirty Lola of Sex Ed a Go Go, Cyndi Darnell, Betty Martin, Aida Manduley, and Orpheus Black. I also field listener questions on pussy slapping, pegging problems when your guy is 14 inches taller than you, foursomes where erections never happened, and ethical porn. It's a packed week of goodies and advice. Be sure to sign-up for the Explore More Summit. It starts March 8th and it's FREE.  Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra Sex is a social skill. I speak it. I write it. I teach it. I help you learn how to develop it. I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too. When I'm not speaking and teaching, I

Enrollment for the 2017 Explore More Summit is OFFICIALLY open. The summit is free, runs for ten days, and features interviews with 30 incredible thought-leaders. You can sign-up at exploremoresummit.com. It all starts March 8th, 2017. This week, Madison Young is here to talk all about porn, submission, motherhood and sex, and her Erotic Film School, which I'm attending in a few weeks. Madison has had the unique and powerful opportunity to document so much of her sexual journey and personal stories on film, thanks to porn. And now, she is hard at work writing books on submission and BDSM, DIY porn, and parenthood. We roll around in all of the things she's learned and experienced, plus we share our struggles as people who have trouble prioritizing self-care (which many of you can relate to). Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources mentioned in this episode "Daddy: A Memoir" by Madison Young "DIY Porn Handbook: A How-To Guide to Documenting Our Own Sexua

This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off. Enrollment for the 2017 Explore More Summit is OFFICIALLY open. The summit is free, runs for ten days, and features interviews with SOO many incredible thought-leaders. You can sign-up at exploremoresummit.com. It's been incredible creating these talks, so I hope you'll check it out. It all starts March 8th, 2017. This week, I'm so excited that Matie Fricker and Hunter Riley from Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center are here. We talk about community sex education, sex toy testing fatigue, and how they make their sex store welcoming and empowering. Matie goes deep into toxic toys and what happened when they gave customers a choice between toxic and non-toxic toys. Plus, their testers have to fill out an 8-page survey about each and every product the store carries. We also dive into bad sex toy design, the ONE product that Matie has been searching for for 10 years and has not found a decent one, orgasm stuckness and toy loyalty and why that ca

This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off. You are the first in the world to know that enrollment for the 2017 Explore More Summit is OFFICIALLY open. The summit is free, runs for ten days, and features interviews with SOO many incredible thought-leaders. You can sign-up at exploremoresummit.com. It's been incredible creating these talks, so I hope you'll check it out. It all starts March 8th, 2017. And... Because I've been conducting so so so many intense, deep interviews, I wanted to take a break and make this week nice and easy - you and me, powering through a ton of listener emails and keeping it casual and intimate. So, what are we talking about this week? Mike ALWAYS gives his wife an orgasm and the last three times they've had sex, she hasn't cum. Will it happen again? What can he do? Deb is a bottom but her husband wants her to top him sometimes. Can she find a way to enjoy being dominant? Ali wants more information on how people become strippers. I'm not a sex worker, so I c

This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off. Elle Chase is back, which delights me to no end (though, I'm wrong in the episode - Kate McCombs was the first repeat guest!). I adore this chat despite some audio issues, because we get so personal - sharing sex stories and awkward moments and keeping sex so very real, especially for folks who are fat and curvy. Her brand new book, Curvy Girl Sex, just hit stores, and of course, I use her beautifully curated LadyCheeky.com anytime I want to turn myself or my sweetie on. Rawr. So, here we are talking fat tummies and fat butts and bad backs and awkward sex noises and all the glory of anything-but-elegant sex. About Elle Chase Sex educator and sexuality and body image coach Elle Chase, is a graduate of the comprehensive San Francisco Sex Information, Sex Educator Training Program and a member of the American College of Sexologists. Elle also serves as the Director of Education & Lead Sex Educator at the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Educati

This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off. Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Sometimes, you luck into an incredible opportunity. That happened to me when I heard Mariya Karimjee's story on The Heart or This American Life. It's about her experience with female genital mutilation and having part of her clitoris removed when she was a young girl. I reached out to Mariya and invited her on the show to talk about being an FGM survivor, what it's been like in her life since her story went global, and she also brings some voices of other survivors to share with us. We talk about Muslim women, sex, changing relationships with our parents, patriarchy, and the importance of sex education. It's an important conversation that I hope you'll enjoy. I know I did. Resources discussed in this episode Mariya's episode on The Heart podcast Mariya's stor

This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off. Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast This week there are two listener confessions - one at the beginning of the episode and another at the end after the interview. And who am I chatting with this week? The incredible Erika Lust about being an erotic filmmaker, the porn industry, evoking powerful performances from her actors, and her new non-profit helping parents to talk about porn with their kids. Of all the erotic filmmakers doing ethical porn in the world, Erika's videos are some of the most arousing for me. I adore the humor and shamelessness of her stories. She seamlessly incorporates beauty, eroticism, and playfulness into each and every video in a way that I find endlessly delicious. So here is me, geeking out over getting to chat with someone I deeply admire. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twit